Brian Rudman: Slow down, Your Worship, and take a very deep breath

Len Brown. Photo / The Aucklander

There's a masochistic streak in mayor-elect Len Brown's personality that promises his time in office will be, shall we say, interesting. First, it was the very public self-flagellation before television cameras at a council meeting in penance for his minor misdemeanours with a Manukau City credit card. Now he's revealed that a week from today, he will unveil 100 projects he promises to deliver in his first 100 days.

"We will see things really fly," he told the Manukau Courier.

I say, get that man a cup of hot cocoa. While former Auckland mayor Dick Hubbard was going too far in advising Mr Brown to take a relaxing holiday after his long campaign, it's hard not to think a long lie-down may be a good idea.

The ghouls of the press persecuted him endlessly with replays of his face-slapping.

Doesn't he realise the fun we're going to have chasing up on the inevitable pratfalls involved with his 100-day, 100-task, marathon? If he sat down for a minute and left the phone off the hook, he might realise that Aucklanders weren't looking for a hyperactive battery bunny when they voted him into office.

Trying to prove you're a man of action with a flurry of conferences, and notebooks full of lists, is rather a tired old tactic anyway. David Lange did it 25 years ago with a great economic conference that delivered nothing but hot air - and eventually Rogernomics. Most recently, Prime Minister John Key did the same, with a post-election job summit in February 2009 which hatched a list of 21 brainwaves for protecting the workforce from the collapse of the global financial system.

The vast majority were never heard of again - those like the zany government-subsidised grab-a-seat promotion to lure long-haul tourists into the country. The only two that anyone remembers have been used to tease Mr Key ever since. The nine-day fortnight and, top of the list, the $50 million national cycle trail that was going to employ 4000 people and have the tourists flocking into the country.

Within months, the Prime Minister had to concede it wasn't going to happen, not under his watch anyway. Be patient, he pleaded, "Rome wasn't built in a day and neither is the New Zealand cycleway going to be."

Similarly, rebuilding Auckland in Len's image is going to take a little longer than 100 days. So for his sake and ours, no one is going to criticise him for taking a little time to contemplate his navel.

But as he probably doesn't have a stop button, could I propose that high up his list, he place reminding Wellington who is Mayor of Auckland.

For instance, it seems at best insensitive, and at worst intimidating, for both the Prime Minister and the Minister of Local Government, Rodney Hide, to be turning up to address the inaugural meeting of the new Auckland Council next Monday. That the new governance structure was masterminded and imposed by Mr Hide, under the watchful eyes of his National Party overlords, is even more reason to make themselves scarce on the day the council that Aucklanders elected officially takes office.

Even with the best will in the world, a homily from two Government leaders risks being patronising and intimidating. Central government has imposed this new governance structure on an at best sceptical region, and billed ratepayers the $200 million set-up costs. Good manners alone should have suggested that on Day One of all days, this was Auckland's day.

Before there's an outburst of injured innocence at the suggestion Wellington might be playing politics in these sensitive times, this afternoon's staged announcement about Rugby World Cup Minister Murray McCully's beloved Queens Wharf slug shows how they just can't help themselves.

The Prime Minister and Mr McCully will be at the announcement, with the mayor-elect and Bob Harvey, incoming chairman of the Waterfront Development Agency who, like Mr Brown, takes control of the wharf in a week's time. Uninvited is Mike Lee, who as chairman of the Auckland Regional Council still shares ownership with the Government of the wharf for another week. He is also the new Auckland councillor for the ward.

They've blacklisted him because he listened to the public outcry some months back and insisted Mr McCully's slug co-exist with at least the larger of the two heritage sheds on the wharf.

A salutary lesson for Mr Brown, perhaps.