On the sixth day of the creation of the new Super City, the intelligent designers looked up from their work and discovered a whole pile of bits and pieces left over.
Still without a home in the city structure were the Auckland Zoological Gardens, the Aotea Centre, the Auckland Art Gallery and Mt Smart and Western Springs stadiums, to name but a few.
Also required was a body to oversee the funding commitments to a range of amenities, including New Zealand Opera, Westpac Rescue's helicopter, the Auckland Festival, coastguards and Auckland Philharmonia Orchestra.
There was also the question of what to do with inherited obligations to regional facilities such as the Bruce Mason Theatre, TelstraClear Pacific Events Centre and the North Harbour Stadium.
It was then that a great exhaustion seems to have descended upon the makers of the brave new world and without further ado, they created a special council-controlled cupboard, tossed the lot inside, and slammed the door. And then they rested.
And at the dawn of the new city, the cupboard was duly transformed into a council-controlled organisation henceforth to be known as Regional Facilities Auckland. Appointed as overlord of this $968.3 million Aladdin's cave of assorted treasures was Sir Don McKinnon, with a deputy, Dame Jenny Gibbs, and a board of five.
One has to feel just a little sorry for them for the herculean task they have inherited, but also a certain trepidation for the future of the eclectic mix of organisations and tasks so randomly tossed together.
At the time this structure was first revealed, a bemused arts administrator wondered out loud what Sir Don and his board would do if they found themselves with a spare $100,000 to spend.
Would they buy an elephant, commission a painting of an elephant, or stage Aida - the latter, which of course you already know, being an opera set in ancient Egypt, featuring a grand parade of, among other things, elephants.
At the moment, Sir Don and his merry band have a much more basic puzzle to unravel. They have to prepare a Statement of Intent (SOI) and submit it to the Auckland Council dealing with such brain-teasing issues as "Who we are and what we do", "Our vision", "Our guiding responsibilities" and "Our key goals". Oh yes, and how they plan to achieve their SOI.
All heart, the Super City designers did leave behind them, as they slammed the door for the last time, "a common template" so that the various CCOs could each produce SOIs that achieved "a consistency of approach." They even left draft SOIs for each organisation, to get them started.
Next Monday, councillors on the CCO strategy and appointments subcommittee will be asked to agree to a set of draft principles for the SOIs. These will act as a guide for the various CCO boards as they agonise over exactly what they're going to commit themselves to. Of course, it goes without saying that the drafts are filled with the flowery orotundities that are expected of such visionary candyfloss. But buried within the draft SOI for Regional Amenities Auckland are a couple of patriotic references that have set my alarm bells ringing.
In "Our vision", the document talks of "provision of access for Aucklanders to international standard shows, exhibitions and events". It adds that "Auckland can gain international attention from quality NZ shows, exhibitions and events". Later, in "Our key goals", there's a commitment "to improve the cultural and social well-being of residents and visitors" by, among other things, "developing appreciation of NZ flora and fauna, and NZ arts and culture".
Of course, we're all dedicated supporters of New Zealand arts and culture, to say nothing of kiwis and cabbage trees. But not, I hope, to the exclusion of the wonders the rest of the world has to offer. Yet nowhere in this document is there a commitment to the encouragement of international art - or fauna and flora for that matter.
As the CCO in charge of the Auckland Zoo, does that mean the zany plans for a herd of elephants roaming Western Springs are now off? To be replaced, perhaps, by a flock of cuddly kiwi?
As for New Zealand music, the Auckland Philharmonia Orchestra is already a worthy promoter of local talent, but I fear a diet lacking in Beethoven and Mahler and Mozart and other international masters would gain the desired international attention, but for all the wrong reasons.
<i>Brian Rudman</i>: Sir Don and his band have a merry old task ahead
Sir Don McKinnon. Photo / Paul Estcourt
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