Brian Rudman: Power supply brainwave blowing in the wind

The Parliamentary Commissioner for the Environment has gone all survivalist on us, proposing we erect wind turbines on our roofs to generate electricity. What will Morgan Williams want us to do next, dig a well in our backyards?

One of the advantages of civilisation is that we don't have to till our own field, milk our own cow or rub two sticks together to light a fire.

Fortunately, the release of Dr Williams' report on electricity, energy and the environment coincided with the publication of Transpower's promise to Energy Minister David Parker to better ensure a stable supply of electricity to Auckland. I'm with the national grid solution on this one.

Dr Williams' Good Life proposal lost me the moment I saw him on television dismissing concerns about the noise of roof-top generators by saying they were no worse than air-conditioning units. Has he never lived next door to a house with a swimming pool pump? Or, for that matter, one of those ornamental metal ducks whose wings creak in the wind?

Then there's the visual pollution of a skyscape littered with rotating rooftop wind paddles. The Swift brand device Dr Williams has directed MPs to is 2.1m in diameter.

It would also pay to further investigate the efficiency of this pioneering technology. Dr Williams, quoting the manufacturers, says one could provide 2000 to 3000kW-hours of electricity a year, or one-third of the average household requirement. But a recent report in the London Observer said independent tests showed micro-turbines produced outputs of only 10 to 25 per cent of the amount manufacturers claimed.

Even the industry group, the British Wind Energy Association, put a damper on the idea of decorating Auckland's rooftops with windmills.

"Most residential locations are not suitable for windpower. Trees and buildings break the force of the wind and create turbulent gusts, which can be very destructive. Open hilltop sites or coastal situations with unobstructive views may be suitable ... A very tall tower is helpful but may be frowned on ... Do not forget the effect your wind turbine may have on neighbours, who may not share your enthusiasm," it said.

To avoid the turbulence caused by the house next door, the association recommended your turbine should be at least 10 times the height of that house away from it. Or up "a very tall tower". And just when we thought the end of suburban power poles was nigh.

A study by the mid-Wales Energy Agency suggested that, all things going well, government subsidy included, Swift users might break even on their investment after eight years.

I go along with Dr Williams' opposition to the cranking up of the antique coal-fired Marsden B Power station. But his cottage-industry alternative doesn't seem the answer either, however romantic the concept of a whirligig on the roof might be.

A field of really grunty turbines, proud on some windy headland out of sight, mind and hearing distance, and hooked up to Transpower's upgraded grid, is the environmentally friendly way to go.

Talking environment, I'm sure it must have come as a great relief to everyone to hear that New Zealand chooks are free of bird flu. I can hardly wait for next week's bulletin from the indefatigable mouthpiece of the poultry industry, Michael Brooks, proclaiming that his product is free of ebola virus as well.

Of course, what would be far more relevant and exciting would be news that local chook meat was finally free of the stomach-cramping, food-poisoning bacteria, campylobacter.

It's hard to see the bird flu all-clear, as anything but a smoke screen to distract us from the campylobacter scandal.

Mr Brooks' roars of triumph at the absence of bird flu are a masterpiece of PR doublespeak: "We have always maintained that the New Zealand poultry meat industry has a unique, major poultry disease-free status, unparalleled in the rest of the world."

Obviously he doesn't regard the dreaded campylobacter, which Otago medical school researchers claim infects up to 90 per cent of raw chicken meat in this country, as a "major" poultry disease.

I wonder if the 100,000 New Zealander who are stricken each year - half of them likely to be victims of poisoned chicken - would agree.