We've grown used to stories about how thin the blue line protecting Auckland is. The latest reminder was the figures released by Police Minister George Hawkins last week revealing the average time it took for police to turn up with a fingerprint kit after a burglary was reported.
As usual, the three Auckland districts were worst. In August this year, the average Manukau City burglar could have hot-footed it to the airport and jetted his way to London with his ill-gotten gains before a constable turned up at the crime scene with his white powder and sticky tape.
In Auckland City the average wait time was 16 hours 42 minutes and on the North Shore/Waitakere, a lightning 12 hours 3 minutes.
In our laid-back sort of way, we've resigned ourselves to the official line that our houses being robbed and ransacked was not high on the police priority list.
Meanwhile, those of us with first-hand experience of the above, have gone off and bought peace-of-mind burglar alarms.
And so life in the big city goes on - until something like the policing of the America's Cup regatta comes along, and you begin to wonder whether you, and whoever it is who draws up the policing priority list, live on the same planet.
While mulling over the burglary response-time statistics, I got a call suggesting I check out the size of the police squad attached to the America's Cup - or Operation Marlin II to give it its code name.
The answer? One hundred and seven of them, all no doubt busting for a turn bouncing around the Hauraki Gulf on one of the fleet of flash new inflatable craft, fighting crime and preventing drunken fizz-boating spectators from being mown down by each other or by the mighty race boats.
Sixty-one of the team will be out-of-towners, a revolving team of volunteers from the sticks, here for the $80 a day allowance and a brief interlude amidst the action.
There was no shortage of volunteers for this arduous assignment - which is more, it seems, than can be said for Operation Calvary, which was launched in August by Police Commissioner Rob Robinson. Under that scheme, $1 million was set aside to bring officers from outside Auckland to the region for five-week stints on the mean streets. It seems the seaside assignment has proved more attractive.
According to Detective Senior Sergeant Stu Allsopp-Smith of Auckland City police, speaking at last week's Police Association conference, both Auckland and Counties Manukau Police districts are still short of about 65 staff each. If accurate, these figures show a worsening situation since June 30, when the official shortage was 59 in Auckland and 41 in Counties Manukau.
Mr Allsopp-Smith said staffing shortages in both districts were so acute that police were struggling to keep up. He said a violent crime was committed every two hours in Auckland City, which had suffered a 13 per cent increase in crime last year.
In response, delegates endorsed a proposal that officers in these two police districts be paid a one-off bonus of $2500 if they remained in their jobs between July this year and July next year. Given the chronic shortage of police in Auckland, and the reluctance of police officers to work here, such a monetary incentive makes great sense.
What doesn't, is the overkill on the water at a time of crisis on-shore.
At rugby matches and car rallies, the organisers are the ones expected to keep spectators and participants apart. They hire security guards, if necessary.
The Tiger Woods golf circus was a much-criticised exception. And that was for just a few days anyway. The Louis Vuitton Cup and America's Cup series stretch out over five months. A summer of sun and sea for many lucky police officers, but a time of long waits for those unlucky enough to get their Christmas presents nicked.
While the police are busy fighting crime on the sea, the Ministry of Agriculture and Forestry were set to be back in the air this morning - weather permitting - over West Auckland for another go at the pesky painted apple moth. I'm glad to see they took my advice.
A month ago I said it was time to stop pussy-footing around and turn this into a patriotic battle against evil foreigners. "Demonise the little critter," I said.
On Friday they did me proud.
Dominating a full-page advertisement in this paper was a child's hand, all red and raw. "Things get really ugly when you touch the painted apple moth," read the headline.
"If you think the painted apple moth is an ugly little critter ... you haven't seen the worst of it," began the text.
Not only did this beast devour forests and gardens, but if you touch it, its hairs can "cause itchy rashes, skin lesions, eye irritations and significant distress. Children are particularly susceptible."
As scaremongering goes, this is much more alarming than anything the anti-spray brigade have thrown up. Well done, MAF. I just hope the spraying was as successful.
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