Ten days ago, when Auckland regional councillors refused unanimously to surrender to Foreign Minister Murray McCully's bullying over party central on Queens Wharf, he summoned TV3 to his incandescent presence to very publicly spit the dummy.
"I'm not sure what Mike Lee [ARC chairman] was smoking at the time," raged the country's leading "diplomat". He added that as an Aucklander he found it "deeply embarrassing".
The "it" he was railing against was the ARC's highly sensible proposal that Mr McCully move his temporary "slug-like" party central building slightly west, so it could share the huge wharf with the historic Shed 10 instead of replacing it. The original plan had the slug occupying the Shed 10 site. The compromise, supported by the Historic Places Trust, meant the old shed didn't have to be sacrificed.
On Friday, it was Mr McCully who capitulated, announcing that Shed 10 would remain. His slug would move, not alongside the shed as the ARC had proposed, but down the wharf to occupy the windswept end currently occupied by the smaller Shed 11.
Both the ARC and Historic Places Trust had previously agreed to the relocation of the smaller shed.
Unsurprisingly, there wasn't a word of apology from the minister for his week of bluster and tantrums. Indeed, his press release made him out the hero.
"At times in the last few weeks our ambitions for Queens Wharf appeared under threat," he grizzled. "But we remained determined to make the most of the opportunities presented by the [RWC] tournament."
Yet the solution he is now claiming credit for is, in effect, the proposal the ARC put to him 10 days ago and which had him implying Mr Lee had concocted after "smoking" something.
Having announced this mock victory, he then jumped aboard a jet to share his peace-making skills with our coalition partners in the Afghani capital of Kabul.
"Strengthening relationships with our regional partners is a key priority for the Government, and my attendance at these meetings signifies New Zealand's strong commitment to working together on regional and global issues," Mr McCully said.
Cross fingers they don't let him anywhere near a peace pipe stuffed full of that country's fine herbs. Given his weird way of "working together" with his regional partners in Auckland, a whiff of finest Afghani and he could have us at war with Australia.
Back on Queens Wharf, the $9.6 million slug still seems a huge waste of public money, but at least the future of Shed 10 can now be debated rationally, instead of solely as an impediment to plans for a temporary party venue.
It took a couple of days, but World Cup organisers Rugby NZ 2011 finally explained to me what was required of party central - or as they call it, "a Tier 1 Fan Zone". The actual details are surprisingly vague and general.
"Fan zones are places to watch rugby." They will "utilise tournament look and feel and sponsor recognition" and as "a major site" sponsors "are likely to be involved". The larger fan zones are also likely to cater for the wider needs of visitors, such as providing tourism advice, and be open for the duration of the tournament.
In other words, a big screen, some shelter and some portable dunnies and you're all but there. All of which could have been done with a modest tarting up of Shed 10.
Still, it would take a mighty cheroot of some as-yet-undiscovered herbal happy drug to persuade Mr McCully along that path of enlightenment, so let's just be pleased the shed stays.
Adding to the pleasure is that Mr McCully and the ARC have jointly agreed to taihoa on their plans to rush through a $17.8 million conversion of the shed into a cruise ship passenger terminal.
Around $4 million will be spent on making it presentable, but any long-term development of it and the wharf will now be left to the incoming Waterfront Development Agency. This is a defeat for both Mr Lee and the Government, who wanted to bed in this cruise ship usage on the "people's wharf" before waterfront control moved to the new agency.
But it is an excellent outcome for those arguing that the "people's wharf" should be just that, rather than a space that has to be shared with tour buses and customs barriers and provisioning trucks for an explosion of cruise ships.
<i>Brian Rudman:</i> Better keep McCully off finest Afghani dak after Shed 10 performance
Cross fingers they don't let McCully anywhere near a peace pipe stuffed full of Afghanistan's fine herbs. Photo / Paul Estcourt
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