KEY POINTS:
It might not have been "Yo Helen!" But it was "Here's Helen!"
George Bush's greeting to Prime Minister Helen Clark when she walked into the Oval Office was not quite as intimate as that caught by live mikes that captured his "Yo Blair!" greeting to Tony at a G8 summit.
But "Here's Helen!" has more than a touch of familiarity to it. As small details of the White House encounter last Thursday slip out it seems something will remain a mystery.
Others at the White House lunch had to drool over the "Spring Fling" dessert without a taste experience because they followed time-honoured manners and would not start before George and Helen had.
And engrossed in conversation about South America and Russia, neither of them touched their desserts. Memo to White House chef: please send recipe so that we too can share the delights of a Spring Fling or next best, please send recipe to Ambassador Bill McCormick and host extraordinaire who might arrange a special tasting back in Wellington.
Today is the last day of Clark's visit to the United States. She heads back to New Zealand this afternoon via San Francisco.
This morning's Seattle Times has a spread on her visit written by one Nick Perry, a Kiwi and former NZ Herald colleague where he worked for several years after graduating from the AUT journalism course. I caught up with him last night at the Fairmont Olympic hotel where Clark hosted a reception.
Perry pointed out that one of the guests present was state senator Ken Jacobsen, who had sponsored 101 bills this year alone, including one allowing dogs in bars.
It sounded too bizarre to be true but having just checked his website, it is.
Perry is the higher education reporter for the Times and has got to know his contacts so well that when Clark visited the University of Washington yesterday the president (equivalent to vice-chancellor) allowed him to sit in on discussions between the university and PM and introduced him to her and allowed him to contribute to the discussion. Good move. It did not seem to bother Clark. I look forward to the invitation to sit in on the next cabinet.
The Fairmont is obviously the place to stay. Other VIPs there in the past two nights have been Eric Clapton who I clapped eyes on in the lobby, and the President of Rwanda. Can't find a reference on the White House website as to whether he was headed there, but he was received in the Oval Office last year and the year before that.
The three New Zealand journalists who followed Clark to Chicago and Seattle, RNZ and the Press as well, have been staying in a fanstastic hotel in Seattle, The Alexis, which makes up for the jackhammers in the Washington one, and the dodgey internet and no restaurant at the Chicago one.
Seattle looks like a wonderful place to return to, but for now its time to throw the laptop into the bag and head to the airport one last time.
Friday 8pm
The pecan farmer from Alabama
Former Clinton ambassador to New Zealand Carol Moseley Braun and former US senator turned up to Helen Clark's lunchtime speech in Chicago today.
She stood up in question time to make a statement about what a "paradise" New Zealand was and how she tells everyone to go there.
A clear sign she has forgiven Helen Clark for calling her "a pecan farmer from Alabama" in 2001 - or that she was told about it.
It was reminiscent of Muldoon's reference to Jimmy Carter being "just a peanut farmer from Georgia".
Brauns' offence was that after retiring back to Alabama, she stuck her oar into New Zealand politics and disputed that Helen Clark's claim that New Zealand was a benign strategic environment.
Clark's trade-focused speech was interesting, and though I was busy elsewhere and didn't get to hear it in person. It both condemns the United States (and Europe) for the protection it gives to its farmers and praises it lavishly for other efforts, such as its work in the WTO trying to stop subsidised fishing that incentivises over-fishing.
Maybe now that we're closer friends, we can be franker friends too.
Only three of the Washington media crew have continued to follow Clark to Chicago and Seattle which is where we arrived tonight.
I didn't get to see much of Chicago unfortunately, though Aucklanders may be interested to know it has a waterfront stadium and a novel approach to billboards. To avoid having to see them at ground level, they are stuck on top of 50 metre columns making them highly visible from the freeways.
Think about it, Glenda.
The strange time difference and filing imperatives have meant that best meals are the chocolates on the pillow when you crash at the end of the day and the locals are hotel reception staff and cab drivers.
Cabbies are the same all over the world. The only difference is what they've got their degree in. Engineering was the subject of my guy's masters degree today. He wanted me to guess where he was from from his accent.
To be honest he sounded like Borat but I thought he might offended if I said Kazakhstan so I said Ukraine, which is where, it happens, he got his degree but when it part of the Soviet Union. It turned out he was Jordanian.
I was determined to have at least a vicarious tourist experience so got him to recommend just one thing I must do if I return to Chicago. No contest. The first thing he did when he got to Chicago was ride to the top of the Sears building in a lift so fast that your ears pop and from the top on a clear but not hot day you can four states: Illinois, Michigan, Indiana and Wisconsin.
Thursday 5:45 pm
Barry's rearguard action
A new thaw between New Zealand and the United States may be happening at top level but it hasn't trickled down yet to all levels of the White House.
While Bush and Clark were inside the Oval Office striking accord, ugly discord broke out today between a pretty young White House press aide and Newstalk ZB's veteran Barry Soper after the New Zealand media were asked to move behind the American journalists in the queue waiting to go into the Oval Office.
The cameras were placed ahead of the journalists to set up. That is standard and there was no complaint about that. But first into a room can be important. If you don't get a decent position in the first few seconds, you don't get audio - which is the bread of butter of radio journos like Soper.
We actually did move to the back of the queue when asked but complained and asked for an explanation about why we had to go behind the Americans. None was given. Five minutes later the argument broke out more intensely. Soper made the point to the aide that no reason had been given for the New Zealanders having to take a back seat - and was probably more irritated than most because he was one of two of the Kiwis we balloted to ask the first questions if President Bush allowed it, which he didn't.
She said we needed to show some respect for how they did things. Soper, getting more and more irrate, told her "I"ve been coming to the White House for 30 years and it hasn't been like this before. This is disgraceful," he said.
He was perfectly right on every count. It was the classic case of officials obstructing journalists work without having to justify it.
It's second nature for many.
And Soper has been going to White House for 30 years. He went with Muldoon in 1983, the last of the prime ministerial visits as an Anzus member, he did Bolger's visit in 1999, Clark's first visit in 2002 and now Clark's visit today.
She was said by our brethren Kiwi reporters to be so upset she might lodge a formal complaint with Helen Clark's office - and almost everyone in the group apologised to her.
I didn't and wouldn't. She placed us at a disadvantage to cover a story that is as important to us as the daily dramas of Bush are to the White House Press Corp.
Barry is the one who should be considering a formal complaint.
Thursday 12:30pm
White House visit like clockwork
Everything during Helen Clark's visit to the White House went like clockwork - on time, on cue, well rehearsed and well scripted, mutual compliments, polite humour.
That's how the relationship is at the moment - both sides are taking things carefully.
The president quipped in the oval Office that his "conversation" with Helen Clark had gone so well he had decided to invite her for lunch.
They made their statements to about 30 media and 30 officials in the Oval office which is surprisingly smaller than the one portrayed regularly in television dramas.
She raised the issue of a free trade agreement. He talked about energy security.
He praised her leadership in the Pacific.
She praised his leadership in promoting a free trade area of the Asia Pacific.
He sat in front of a portrait of George Washington referring to speaking notes, and flaunting his bold black Texan boots under his dark blue suit.
Karl Rove stood at the back, near Heather Simpson. The prospect of being questioned about him and other key Bush advisers being subpoenaed to Capitol Hill over the purge of attorneys was clearly the reason Bush wound it up early.
He does not want to court any more controversy than he is in already.
It may be why he said nothing about a free trade agreement. He does not need to be talking aloud about who might be in the queue for an FTA under an authority the Congress has yet to grant him.
He did smile during her reference to FTAs but we'll never know why.
Placating the disappointed New Zeland media, he quipped at how well TV3's Duncan Garner was dressed (a bold pin-striped suit) and suggested our American counterparts take note of the New Zealanders.
His developing war with the Congress strangely overshadowed the visit.
Clark went on to visit new Defence Secretary Robert Gates at the Pentagon and then to Arlington National Cemetery where she laid a wreath at the tomb of the unknown solider and negotiated media questions about Iraq in front of the graves of servicemen and women - with great care of course.
Thursday 5:00am
What to ask the President
There aren't many vantage places to get a great view of Washington. But the United States New Zealand Council hired one for a reception tonight Washington time to host a function for Helen Clark on the roof top of a lovely old hotel - the eight-storey Hay-Adams Hotel next to Lafayette Park.
It had a gorgeous view of the White House, the Monument - I am always surprised that such a sleek and modern looking thing was built in the 1880s - the Potomac River, and Blair House, the presidential guest house, named after a newspaper publisher who was an adviser to President Andrew Jackson (1829 to 1837).
Free trade stalwart and former president of the council Fred Benson was presented with a medal to mark his status as an honorary member of the New Zealand order of Merit. Founding president and former amabssador to New Zealand Anne Martindell was there. Another former ambassador, Paul Cleveland, was at the Asia Society lunch the PM addressed today.
There was no question of staying and kicking on with the party. Too much filing to do and preparation for tomorrow's White House date.
The New Zealand media have been told to expect two questions aside only - two from the NZ media and two from the United States - and that is if President Bush consents to questions.
With the trouble he is having on the Hill over the purge of state prosecutors, it is possible he may not want to front at all - he had a press conference today about it.
Essentially the judicial committee of the Congress wants to subpoena key Bush advisers like Karl Rove to give evidence to their committee about the purge. Bush argues that that cuts across the right for him to have free and frank advice. He says he will offer up staff to answer questions but that they should not have to answer questions under oath.
This is an issue of two competing rights: the right of the legislature to hold the executive to account, and the right of the President to have unencumbered free and frank advice.
The politics suggests Bush is on to a loser here, but a pretty clued up insider at the reception reckons that the right to unencumbered advice has already been well established.
I quite like this US politics lark. Imagine if the justice and law select committee in New Zealand subpoena-ed Heather Simpson, and Helen Clark said no way, Jose and left the decision to Dame Sian Elias.
Anyway if Bush does consent the New Zealand media has balloted for the first two questions and have had a discussion about what Bush should be asked. Newstalk ZB's Barry Soper and TV3's Duncan Garner won the ballot - which is a lucky break for Garner seeing as he promised his viewers well before the ballot that he would be asking Bush about Iraq.
We have also talked about the question and - like the US and New Zealand - there was a high degree of "commonality" that they should be about security and trade. We'll talk about it again in the morning but have to be ready to suddenly switch course if they come out with something unexpected.
The most frivolous suggestion came from my friend Isabel who wondered if President Bush realised how much he resembled Maxwell Smart.
Wednesday 10.50am
I don't suppose you'll want any media there
The tension between journalists and PR flunkies is as natural as that between a bull and a red-rag at times.
No more so than today when we were told by a New Zealand embassy press officer that when the embassy had asked, Nancy Pelosi's office had not wanted any media present when she met New Zealand's Prime Minister today.
Hang on a minute. That didn't sound right. Pelosi is famously gobby - we didn't realise at the time that she and President Bush were on the brink of a constitutional crisis over whether Congress can subpoena senior Bush advisers and that she probably wasn't feeling particularly gobby today.
I put a phone call into the US Speaker's press secretary to plead the case of the New Zealand media. There were only a dozen. We had come a long way and considered the Pelosi visit as one of Helen Clark's most important in Washington.
That's too bad, came the response. If your embassy had asked, we might have worked something out - but they didn't ask!
You can imagine the heights to which our dudgeon reached upon hearing this. We like nothing better to catch officials in what a "lie" - even ones that don't matter to anyone else.
It confirms all our suspicions that their natural inclination is to obstruct and not to help.
The embassy officials insisted they had asked the Speaker's office and produced names of whose people had called whose people. It transpired that the call had been made after all, to a protocol officer on the Hill, not to Pelosi's press people. Apologies for thinking the worst of those officials at the NZ embassy for an hour.
But am I allowed to think the second worst- that perhaps the "push" by the embassy to have the event covered by the New Zealand media went something like this...."I don't suppose you'll want any media there."
Anyway, because I had asked so nicely, Ms Pelosi's office made an exception and said one print journalist could go up and write it up for everyone - suggesting he learned his media skills from the North Koreans.
I can report that one of Mrs Pelosi's staff asked about the New Zealand Prime Minister - "Is he here yet?" and that Mrs Pelosi looked slightly distracted when she came out of her office to greet the PM before taking her into her office for half an hour.
She clearly had some special adviser, however. Her trouser suit was virtually identical to the new Air New Zealand uniform.
Tuesday March 20 12:25pm
Washington notices Clark's visit, but only just
Helen Clark rates a mention in today's Washington Post but not in particularly flattering tones. Its page 2 column on the week ahead notes that for President Bush "the week will be slow - touting energy initiatives in Kansas City, meeting with the Prime Minister of New Zealand and - wait - celebrating Greek Independence Day."
To mark the fourth anniversary of the invasion of Iraq, the paper features an analysis of the variety of figures ascribed to the death toll.
I bought the Post when I landed at the chilly Dulles Washington Airport at 7am this morning to cover the PM's visit, after a trip that included a seven-hour wait in Los Angeles.
It is a much more pleasant place than LAX which seems designed to dissuade people from travelling to the US at all.
The note hanging on the desk of the immigration officer said: "We pledge to treat you with courtesy, respect and dignity." That's nice but tell that to the young man who accompanied his girlfriend to the immigration counter, only to be ordered: "Get back in line, you are not married."
To be fair the immigration staff were relatively professional.
I might have struck a bad day but the baggage system seemed chaotic, bus-drivers were like grunting teenagers, the people who watch you undress for the the security checks were slobs, and the only person who was helpful when I was looking for internet access wanted a donation for needy children for her trouble.
Most of the press gallery covering the PM's trip have arrived in Washington ahead of her and most of us are staying at a hotel recommended by TV3's Duncan Garner - who stayed here last year on a State Department trip.
It's pretty central and pretty cheap and now we know why. The jack-hammers working on the hotel renovations start at 8 am and go to 4 pm - with a short break for lunch. And we are also asked to keep our curtains closed all day.
Mind you, the room comes with complimentary coffee beans and ear plugs. Thanks Duncan. Fortuitously, Radio New Zealand's Brent Edwards couldn't get in here and he has booked down the road at the Watergate complex - where Condoleezza Rice has an apartment.
The hotel I have been keen to visit is the Willard InterContinental, which is supposed to have a fabulous lobby where former President Ulysses S Grant used to hold court with brandy and cigar and grant favours to what he called "lobbyists" - though there is some dispute that he coined the term.
