Ask the expert: 'They treat me like a dumb sex object'

Dr Marie Wilson, head of management and employment relations at the University of Auckland Business School and a veteran of 20 years in corporate management and small business, offers some helpful ideas. Send your questions to Julie Middleton.


Q: I work surrounded by toxic personalities of the medical profession who think it is their right to treat all females as brain-dead sex objects. The position has a high turnover and I am at the point where I am accused frequently of "taking it too personally" and being told I should learn to accept their behaviour, because they won't change. After some months of blaming myself for the things that have been going awry, I am now opting for self-preservation. I know I am not the only person having this experience, but it does not make it any less hurtful or easy to cope with.

A: You're unlikely to counter stereotypes by generating a few of your own, but you sound genuinely distressed.

If you are receiving comments and treatment that are harassment, you might wish to contact the Employment Relations Service or the Human Rights Commission for advice and/or mediation.

A truly "toxic" environment is in no one's interests. Poor supervision is the leading cause of reduced performance and increased turnover and the cost to the organisation is enormous.

You may be forced to seek other employment, and the organisation is absorbing the high cost of turnover and poor morale.

Is there anyone in the organisation that is sympathetic to these issues and can counsel you or mentor you?

If not, external agencies may be your best bet. A mediator may be able to make the offending employers see their behaviour in a different light, and you may get feedback on effective ways of countering or preventing abusive situations.

By asking you not to take these issues personally, they are asking you to act as a professional; you should be able to expect the same in return.