'I lost my courage': Picton survivor on the horror crash that wiped out his family

A survivor of the horror Picton crash that wiped out seven members of his family says he feels alone, has lost his courage and been robbed of his dreams.

Pedro Clariman shuffles to the door, his head bowed low, barefoot and weary.

It's just before midday at his rural Pukekohe home, which overlooks rolling hills and ploughed fields.

"I like it here. It's a quiet and beautiful place."

The 27-year-old is still broken and walks with a limp. He is taking pain medication, anti-depressants and receiving therapy for a brain injury suffered in the crash, and ongoing mental trauma.

He was forced to bury nearly his entire family, including his partner Amber and their 6-month-old baby Mika. His younger brother Luie, also survived.

The dead were farewelled at a joint funeral before being interred together at a local cemetery.

The soil on their graves is still fresh and the plots are adorned with flowers and the plants that Clariman's mother Diseree loved.

Pedro Clariman, 27, lost seven members of his family in the crash. Photo / 1News

"I'm not thinking about the future yet because I had dreams with my partner but since I lost them I lost my courage," Clariman told the Herald.

"I feel like I lost everything."

Clariman was in the front seat of the family's van when it crashed head-on with a truck near Picton on the morning of June 19.

Eight of his family were in the van with him and were travelling home to Pukekohe after the funeral of an elderly aunt in Gore.

Police announced this week that after a 10-week investigation, no one would be charged in connection with the crash.

It's understood Clariman's step-father Paul Brown was behind the wheel and that the van may have crossed the centreline.

Flordeliza Dolar (left), Divine Dolar, name withheld, Mika Clariman (baby), Diseree Brown, Paul Brown's mum, Paul Brown, Mark Lagud (front), Pedro Clariman (back), Luie Lagud. Photo / Supplied

Asked about the decision not to lay charges, Clariman said, "I was expecting more", though he was still unsure what caused the crash and would therefore leave the matter to police.

"I don't know about that situation because no one explained what happened."

The only other survivor was Clariman's younger brother Luie, who remains in Auckland Hospital's spinal unit.

Clariman said it was unclear whether Luie would walk again.

"They said that depends on Luie. I don't ask about that because I don't want him to be angry or sad. I don't want to talk about things like that."

Clariman remembers waking up among the mangled wreckage and learning that his daughter was dead before passing out again.

Seven people died in the June crash - the most deadly incident on New Zealand roads since April 2019. Photo / George Heard

He won't say more about the crash as the memories are still too painful.

His own recovery has a long road ahead. He once worked for a building framing company in East Tamaki and hopes to return to work one day.

"But not at the moment. I'd love to come back but I'm still not fit to do that job yet."

Clariman tries to visit his brother in hospital once a week and pay his respects to his family at their graves.

He is still suffering the effects of concussion, with loss of memory and concentration.

Physical and psychological therapists visit his house and attempt to help restore what has been lost.

"They try to help me but I feel like I'm alone because I miss [my family] too much. Like I want to see them but I can't. Every time I think about that I feel like I lost everything.

"I feel like I'm still looking for them. I still want them but I can't do anything."

Clariman said he has had no contact with the trucking firm or driver involved in the horrific crash.

"I [keep] expecting they are going to say something. Just say, 'Hello, how are you doing?' But I haven't heard anything from them."

He hopes authorities can make some good come of the tragedy by reviewing the crash site.

"Maybe they can make it more safe."

And while still in the throes of grief, the young man is glad to have the support of family members who have travelled from the Philippines to attend the funeral and stand by his side.

He is also conscious of the outpouring of public sentiment and support after the crash.

"I'm so thankful to them for trying to support us. They helped us a lot, especially the people who made the donations. It helped a lot for the costs of the funeral."

He also praised the police and medical staff who assisted his family and Immigration NZ officials who had helped his relatives to travel from overseas.

Clariman now faces the prospect of rebuilding his life without seven much-loved family members, who will never be forgotten.

"It's hard to accept to say goodbye to them."