"I was totally unaware a woman is four times more likely to be murdered in that week than at any other time."
Mr White said he carried on in "blissful ignorance" thinking the pair would part amicably and work things out between themselves and she could still work on their Matamata farm helping to train race horses. "We were too naive and that's not the way to go about it. We quite literally served Helen up on a tray for him to kill her."
Meads was jailed for 11 years in May last year for the murder, which left Kimberley White, then 18, and Samantha Meads, who was 10, without a mother.
Kimberley, Mrs Meads' daughter from a previous relationship, is now training to be a teacher. Samantha, Meads' daughter, lives with Mr White.
Now a White Ribbon ambassador and about to accompany Women's Refuge boss Heather Henare on a series of nationwide speaking arrangements next month, Mr White is also part of a groundswell of people who want to see changes to the Bail Act.
The group includes Tracey and Brian Marceau, whose daughter Christie's alleged killer was on bail at the time of her death.
Mr White, a semi-retired bookshop owner, said it was horrifying that Meads was released from prison under stringent conditions only to later apply to have them relaxed.
This meant Meads was bailed to live in the same town as his victim's family. The thought of it kept Mr White's wife, Pam, indoors and had him on edge whenever he got into his car.
Mr White contacted Sensible Sentencing Trust's Garth McVicar around the same time a call for public submissions on the act went out last year.
Former Justice Minister Simon Power last year announced a second round of changes to bail laws a month before the election and said legislation would be introduced this year in the form of a bail amendment bill.
The amended bill is to improve the integrity of the bail system to make public safety the primary concern when deciding to grant bail.
Mr White said writing the book was not cathartic: "In fact it was the complete opposite.
"But people had contacted me saying 'you've told our story too' and the horrible fact behind it all was that their stories were horribly similar so I started writing in my mind about this similarity about domestic abuse for women, but I didn't know what to do about it."
The book reveals the anguish and confusion the family suffered after her death and the battles they had with the legal system, securing custody of daughter Samantha and how Meads ended his pitiful child support for her upon his bail release.
It also shows details suppressed during the trial, including the severe beatings Mrs Meads endured and how her husband would keep peculiar entries in his diary including what time he went to the toilet.
Mr White said his family were still waiting for an apology from Meads, who tried to argue in court that the shooting of his wife was an accident.
They're not expecting one.
"In his mind he's done nothing wrong, I think he'll always believe that."
