Hush your grubby mouth

By JULIE MIDDLETON

Only in America ... in 1998, public relations consultant James O'Connor set up the Cuss Control Academy in Illinois, offering anti-crudity tips to everyone from harassed parents to corporate types.

"My theory was that everyone had been taught not to swear, and many who swore anyway as adults probably wished they had not got into a habit that sometimes got them in trouble, or projected a bad image," he explains.

But he's not on a banning crusade.

"I don't advocate the elimination of swearing, but simply suggest people be more considerate about when and where they choose to swear."

O'Connor, who runs a small public relations firm, was prompted to set up the academy, which has an excellent website and lots of tips for curbing swearing, "by the excessive swearing in movies and from various people in public places.

"To me, the swearing was a decline in civility and manners, as well as simply lazy language."

He also wrote Cuss Control: the complete book on how to curb your cursing (Three Rivers Press, 2000).

So what's so wrong with swearing? It gives a bad impression, it makes you unpleasant to be with, endangers your relationships and reduces respect people have for you, says O'Connor.

It shows you don't have control, but do have a bad attitude, reflects your ignorance and sets a bad example.

Swearing, says O'Connor, represents a "dumbing-down" of society, offends more people than you realise, makes others uncomfortable, is disrespectful of others and can lead to violence.

And swearers are corrupting English: they should confine their expletives to moments of extreme emotion, such as when the hammer meets the thumb.

Limiting swearing will lessen our tendency to see the world as a hostile and frustrating place.

So, tongue-tamers, here is your daily mission:

* Use alternative words. Select a few powerful or funny words and get in the habit of substituting them for swearing. Try this Monty Python insult: "I wave my private parts at your aunties, you cheesy lot of second-hand electronic donkey-bottom biters."

* Start by eliminating casual swearing. "Pretend that your sweet little grandmother or your young daughter is always next to you."

* Think positively. "A positive mental attitude not only eliminates lots of swearing, it brings con-tentment and brightens the personality."

* Practise being patient. If stuck in a traffic jam, ask yourself if a few more minutes matter.

* Make your point politely. Try not to let loose with "who gives a flying ****?" if someone suggests you're not doing something well. "I think my way is faster" offers a justification a listener could respect.

* Think of what you should have said. After you shout an expletive, simply say the tamer word you wish you had used. "Over time, this exercise will train you to think and act differently."

* Work at it. Breaking the swearing habit can be as tough as trying to give up smoking. "It takes practice, support and a true desire to be a better person - not only by controlling your language, but the emotions that prompt you to swear."

Cuss Control Academy