KEY POINTS:
Online, he seemed the perfect gentleman.
At their first meeting, over a cheap Chinese meal, the man who called himself Houndman "seemed really nice".
"He was quite quiet, polite," the woman allegedly raped by Gregory Burnside, aka Houndman, told the Herald on Sunday this week.
"He wasn't stupid. He could hold a good conversation ... not so much romantic, but friendly."
On Monday, the man who seemed the perfect online catch appeared in Huntly District Court charged with the rape of two women he had met through the web. Burnside entered no plea, later telling the Herald on Sunday: "I never raped them."
But the dates that he says led to consensual sex - and his victims say ended in brutal sexual attacks - have left three people with their lives in tatters.
"I have good and bad days," Burnside said by text this week. "How would a person really understand what I'm going threw? [sic]"
For the two-and-a-half years he was a regular online dater, Burnside named himself "Houndman".
"I think it was because he had two farm dogs, and he loved dogs," his alleged second victim says.
The quietly spoken single mum, who studies part-time and cares for her four children in Hamilton, was drawn by Burnside's profile on the NZDating website. Houndman was single, 40, had no children, didn't smoke and, most importantly, was looking for a long-term relationship. There was no photograph on offer, just a picture of a truck. In November last year, she got a babysitter for the children and drove to Huntly for their first meeting.
"It was very casual," she recalls. "We just met [in town] and talked for a while."
By their second encounter, things had progressed. She again drove to Huntly, meeting Burnside at a local petrol station. Huntly's main strip with its pokie bars and takeaway stores, offered little in the way of a romantic evening. When Burnside invited her back to his house, she agreed.
Burnside, a dairy farmer, lives in an isolated farmhouse, 40km out of town in tiny Te Akau. His home, the woman says, was tidy and clean with a big TV and a "flash" computer.
"A lot of things happened [that night]," the woman recalls. "We were talking and I made it clear to him that I wasn't going to sleep with him. I went outside and had a cigarette... I came back in and things got nasty from there."
Houndman recalls things differently. In texts to the Herald on Sunday this week, he described online dating as a "meat market" and intimated that both women he is charged with raping wanted to have sex with him.
"One meets public place [for] ladies safety. One meets for coffie and conversation. One just dosnt go hme with guy [who] dosnt want more?"
The woman says she knew by the second meeting Burnside was not a potential partner. "I'd decided I wanted to put him in the category of 'I just want to be friends with you and that's all'," she says. Burnside's profile said he was looking for someone to have children with. "I've already got four kids so I don't want any more."
After the alleged incident, the woman says she didn't go to the police or complain to the NZDating website owners because she was embarrassed. "At first I kind of thought it was my fault because I went to his house... I also thought [the police] wouldn't do much about it."
Instead she was contacted by police who found her after another woman Burnside met online claimed she was raped by him earlier that month. The reluctant complainant says the police found her through texts she had sent to Burnside's phone. Three-and-a-half months later, she is still wearing arm bandages for injuries she says were sustained during the alleged attack.
Burnside has been bailed to his parents' home in Te Akau. He says he has lost his job, he has been "burnt bad" - it is too easy for a girl to cry rape, he texted last week. The police had been "sloppy, lazy and don't investigate" - he says his life is on hold until his name is cleared.
"Women won't be going out with me."
But even when facing rape charges, Burnside is determined to stay in touch with the world. He told the Herald on Sunday he had bought a new mobile phone from The Warehouse. "Mistake - paid by eftpos," he texted. "Otherwise no trace on me... cops ova me more ways than one."
And his romantic urges have not been quelled. "You got man and kids?" he asked by text.
DATING DANGERS
Women using internet dating sites may be more vulnerable to sexual predators, safety groups say - and less likely to report rapes.
The anonymity of internet dating contact can work to an attacker's advantage, allowing them to appear empathetic, kind, sensitive and compassionate.
"There are some sexual predators who use the internet to find victims because they can scan a lot of profiles very quickly so there's a big range of people to choose from and develop a relationship with," says Netsafe Operations Manager, Lee Chisholm.
Relationships can develop quickly through online communications - with a potential attacker able to carefully craft their answers to questions.
"A lot of them are pretty socially clever," says Dr Kim McGregor of Rape Crisis Auckland. She says the social stigma of online dating can add to the under-reporting of rape.
Date rape is already chronically under-reported to police.
McGregor says it is impossible to know how prevalent sexual assaults through online dating are, as websites do not report incident numbers.
Making complaints to dating sites is often through a standardised online reporting form and some sites state that users' private information will not be disclosed.
If a predator is pinpointed, however, Chisholm says it would be very easy to track their online movements as long as the website's privacy policy allowed for this.
New Zealand's most popular online dating site, NZDating, did not return Herald on Sunday calls last week.
