Failing to find out the teenager's age before sex was the "crux of the crime", the court heard.
He was in his mid-20s and she was 14 when it happened; each of them Colombian who arrived in New Zealand in search of better lives.
He was ex-military, Ecuador-born and Colombian-raised while she was the young daughter of a Colombian family finding their way in small-town provincial New Zealand.
They met and mingled in the comfort of their socio-cultural group in their new home of Nelson.
He was already in a relationship when the messaging started, and soon the opportunity presented itself – a get-together with friends at the teenager's mother's house which led to a sexual encounter, and the fallout that followed.
Alejandro Benitez Correa is now serving a nine-month sentence of home detention after finally admitting a charge of unlawful sexual connection with a young person.
The admission came years after the event in 2018, which Benitez Correa said happened by consent.
He sought a discharge without conviction while the Crown argued a penalty that matched the "moderately serious" offending was warranted, especially as the victim impact statements from the teen and her mother told a different story to the defendant.
Benitez Correa had "turned a blind eye" to the situation for his own sexual gratification, Crown prosecutor Sophie O'Donaghue said.
"He was an adult and it was clear she was a 14-year-old child."
Defence lawyer Tony Bamford said the defendant's failure to inquire about her age was the crux of the criminality; he had a reasonable belief she was over 16, it was consensual and there was no grooming.
In the end it came down to the fact the victim was underage, and the fallout experienced once the pair had been discovered.
During a lengthy sentencing in the Nelson District Court, Benitez Correa learned through his interpreter the clean slate he had hoped for was not to be.
Judge Jo Rielly spelled out in detail her reasons for declining the application for a discharge without conviction.
She said Benitez Correa had only pleaded guilty, sparing the victim a trial, "extremely late" in the justice process and only once other charges associated with the offending had been withdrawn.
In reaching her conclusion she said it was moderately serious offending and she did not consider the consequences of a conviction were out of proportion to the gravity of the offence.
It was also speculation that a conviction would harm his chances of career advancement, especially with the defence force.
The facts were that the victim was 14 at the time; she and the defendant were each from Colombia, and were part of a group that got together out of a shared commonality.
Rielly said while Benitez Correa made an assumption about the victim's age based on her behaviour, he told police he was not aware of the age of consent in New Zealand.
He eventually pleaded guilty to the charge based on the fact he had not taken sufficient steps to ascertain her age before having a sexual relationship with her.
"I have received victim impact statements from the victim and her mother who have described the effects," the judge said.
"There is a lot of force in the Crown argument that there has been an effect on the victim physically and emotionally because of what occurred."
Rielly said some of the upset for the victim related to circumstances that unfolded after the sexual encounter, including harmful discussion on social media.
As a result of the offence and the fallout, the victim and her family had since left town.
Rielly said what was most relevant was that young people were vulnerable – especially emotionally vulnerable in respect of sexual encounters, particularly at a young age.
"Sometimes this is not realised until they are older. That is why our law provides the age of consent it does – to protect young people."
In considering Benitez Correa's personal circumstances, Rielly noted he was a hard worker who supported his mother and brothers, plus a daughter back in Colombia whom he had left behind when he sought asylum, through no fault of his own.
He also had a loving, supportive partner and was said to have regretted his actions, but Rielly said that seemed to have come about because of the situation he found himself in.
"While it's a great shame you had to come to another country in the circumstances you did, I do not accept that at the time you were immature.
"You were in a relationship with another woman who is still your partner. You were a father and your adult experiences were more worldly than most New Zealanders at the same age.
"I cannot ignore this was moderately serious. There was a significant age disparity between you and the victim and the impact has been significant, and that cannot be ignored."
Rielly said community detention might have been an option but it was not enough to denounce the seriousness of what had occurred.
Benitez Correa was handed home detention and he was not to have contact with any girl under the age of 16, except with permission.
Benitez Correa was also given a strike warning, which meant he was now subject to the Three Strikes Law, but he avoided being placed on the child sex offender list.