When Paul Holmes looks back, he says, 2012 will be his "annus horribilis".
"It's been difficult and it's not getting any easier," the seriously ill broadcaster revealed last night.
His "dicky heart" and the return of his cancer has knocked him down, but one bright spark has been the "wonderful" Christmas at home in Hawke's Bay with his family.
Despite his deteriorating health, Holmes managed to put on a party hat and celebrate Christmas with his wife Deborah and daughter Millie Elder-Holmes, who posted photos on Instagram of them at Mana Lodge.
One touching image was of the father and daughter holding hands during a "nap" on Christmas Day.