KEY POINTS:
Is it that emotionless, automated voice telling you to hold the line? Or is it that softly playing music that finally tips you over the edge, sending your blood pressure through the roof as you slam down the phone?
Why can't a real person answer the phone? Is there even a real person there?
The Herald tested the time it took to get a personal answer from the customer service centres of seven major organisations at 11am, 2pm and 4pm on consecutive days last week.
The Inland Revenue Department consistently came out bottom in the tests, taking on one occasion more than 13 minutes before a real person answered the phone.
It attempted to ease the pain with a recorded voice repeatedly saying "Thank you for calling" and "Your call may exceed 10 minutes".
It also played music - designed perhaps to soothe the agitated caller - but it only added to the frustration.
The Herald was played songs such as Victoria and Who Loves Who the Most by The Exponents to help the pass the time.
However, The Exponents weren't on hand during every wait. During other calls to the IRD, some unrecognisable, but heartfelt, music was played.
Lyrics such as "I am lost without you... In my mind I am so confused over you... brings me to my knees and I know I'm lost without you" only added to the stress of being on hold.
At one stage the lyrics "If I wrap myself in cardboard and send myself around the world to your doorstep" were heard, but this could have been an imagined sentence induced by being on hold for close to 12 minutes.
At the other end of the scale, the Auckland City Council on one occasion took a mere 2 seconds before a real person answered the phone. The council was the only organisation on that occasion where the call bypassed its automated answer and went straight through to a real person.
Inland Revenue - which also came out bottom in last year's survey - said it had been experiencing a large number of calls recently and apologised to anybody who had experienced delays.
"Our main call centre telephone number 0800 227 774 has been experiencing a large number of calls recently," said David Udy, Inland Revenue Department group general manager, assistance.
"Last week we answered 80,000 calls. Many of these have been about Personal Tax Summaries, and there have also been a large number of calls about late IR3 and IR4 returns."
He said that while callers may have experienced delays on the main number, many of the department's other numbers had little or no delay.
He urged people to visit the department's website, which contained more than 50 call centre numbers for different queries.
"We have numbers for KiwiSaver, business income tax queries, business GST queries, overdue tax and returns, employer queries, non-resident queries, Student Loans, Child Support and Working for Families Tax Credits, and we urge people to use the appropriate numbers for their inquiry."
And the choice of lovely music? Provided by an external supplier, apparently.
