Grief shatters family haven

Teina Ngamata lived in a household of three families including those of his brother Ollie (front) and brother-in-law Ben Hadfield (rear). Picture / Sarah Ivey

Teina Ngamata's war-torn workplace was in stark contrast to his large family home, peacefully nestled in the lush green pastures of rural Waikato.

But he loved both environments - surrounded by danger, comrades and colleagues as he drove for a security firm in Iraq, and by the comfort, safety and love of a large extended family.

At his Horsham Downs, Hamilton, home yesterday it was clear that Mr Ngamata came from a special kind of whanau. Dozens of cars were parked on the front lawn.

Happy young children played on swings in between.

It was little more than 24 hours since the 37-year-old's family had discovered their hero had died.

A Baghdad bomb not only wiped out the former New Zealand soldier's life, but also ripped apart the hopes and dreams of a rewarding future for his family.

The warmth of the home went beyond the temperature the log fire generated inside. Smiling faces, tear-stained and red from grief, greeted visitors from the media in the hallway.

Even Mr Ngamata's wife, Cheryl - suddenly a widow - managed to greet people politely and shake hands.

Ben Hadfield, her brother, busily introduced family members to journalists. A woman called Carmen, a longtime family friend, fixed a coffee for a few of the strangers.

There must have been at least 50 people at the house, one person commented. The home certainly needed the room that it offered.

"The story is," Mr Hadfield said later, "that two brothers married two sisters, so three families are living here: myself and my family, my sister [Cheryl] and her husband [Teina] and their four young ones, and Ollie [Teina's brother] and my sister and their family."

Children were everywhere; they played on the front lawn, drank orange juice at the dining table, ran around the swimming pool, or, like the pets, lazily wandered from room to room.

Mrs Ngamata reappeared in the lounge, looking exhausted. "Kids keep it real," she said, holding a scrunched-up tissue while straining a smile.

Later in the day she headed to Auckland Airport to take a flight to Kuwait, from where she is to accompany her husband's body back to New Zealand.

It is only a matter of weeks since Nr Ngamata was last in the Waikato.

The former soldier's job in Iraq was structured so he had a break of four weeks out of every 12. During his most recent break, last month, he returned home for a family catch-up.

"He took my kids and his own four children skiing when he was back here," Carmen says, "plus some of their other friends."

The trip to Mt Ruapehu was remembered with fondness, especially by 17-year-old Renee - Cheryl and Teina's eldest.

Mr Ngamata is also survived by Jordan, 14, Manuera, 12, and Ruth, 9.

Mr Hadfield praised Mr Ngamata's employers, London-based ArmorGroup. He said the company could not have done more to ease the impact of the shock.

Mrs Ngamata's workmates at Electrix in Te Rapa were also commended for their support.

Mr Ngamata's body should arrive in New Zealand in the next few days.

It will lie at Hukanui Marae in Hamilton before being taken to Rarotonga, his birthplace, for burial.