In this web series, psychotherapist Kyle MacDonald and Nutters Club co-host Hamish Williams look at mental health and how to navigate some of the more challenging parts of modern life. Today they look at managing money.
Today marks the conclusion of Money Week 2022. The stated purpose of the campaign by the Te Ara Ahunga Ora Retirement Commission is to "work together to help demystify money."
Full disclosure, I used to work for the Commission, where I learned a lot about how money affects people. One thing I found strange about money was how in many cultures, we don't talk about it. It's only when we find ourselves in crisis that suddenly we start to look for support and solutions.
It's probably no surprise that my suggestion to rename the sorted.org.nz website "financiallyf***ed.org.nz" for Money Week one year was unanimously rejected. Opportunity lost maybe, but the option is still there.
There are undeniable similarities between how we approach money and how we approach mental health. The main one being: wait until crisis point before we do anything about it.
The obvious mental health issue that money can cause is anxiety. Being a prevalent issue when managing our mental health, money is something we should all take the time to think on.
"Genuinely not having enough money to get by on can cause emotional problems. At its root though, it's a money problem, not a mental health problem," says psychotherapist Kyle MacDonald. "That said, if it's causing anxiety then take control of the situation by looking at your spending and seeing clearly where your money is going. Having the facts will help you manage the anxiety."
Anxiety, as it turns out, has the ability to tell you something is true, even when it isn't. Dealing with the facts laid bare on a piece of paper or spreadsheet can help you see the issues for what they really are, rather than your mind's perception.
A lot of our money issues though can come from overspending. Although the motivations for this vary, a common factor can be comparing ourselves to others in terms of what we don't have, rather than what we do.
"Where we really see mental health issues arise is people seeing money as the pathway to happiness," states MacDonald. "People tend to look at what they don't have rather than focus on what they do. Making comparisons of ourselves to others in terms of homes, cars, holidays, tends to lead us to the conclusion that spending money on these things will bring about happiness. It tends to do the opposite and only fuel a desire for more."
The suggested key to overcoming looking at money as a source of happiness is to practise being grateful for what we do have rather than what we don't.
In having lived and breathed money behaviours for a couple of years, as well as my own personal experience, I like to think that managing your money well gives you options. Much like your mental health, we need to best understand how it can work for us as well as against us.
Either way, don't wait till either of these inevitable aspects of life get to crisis point. Your money and your mental health deserve your attention and open conversation every week of the year.