Grace Millane (left) with her mother Gillian. Photo / via Instagram
Grace Millane’s mum has spoken of her healing process since the murder of her daughter and a charity mission to climb Mt Kilimanjaro in honour of Grace and her dad.
Gillian Millane is raising money from the hike for White Ribbon, a charity against violence towards women, and a local hospice.
Her daughter was murdered by Jesse Kempson in an Auckland apartment on the weekend of her 22nd birthday in December 2018. The British tourist’s body was later found in the bush in the Waitākere Ranges.
Grace was killed after the pair had matched on the dating-app Tinder while she was on a trip to New Zealand as part of her OE. Kempson was found guilty of murdering her and is serving a life sentence in prison.
Gillian said her hike up Kilimanjaro, a journey to the summit which takes five to nine days, was deeply personal, helping motivate her out of bed every day.
“I climb mountains most of my days anyway mentally, so why not climb a real one? So that’s what I decided to do,” she told Newshub.
Millane’s husband, David, died of cancer in November 2020.
Gillian told 1News she thinks of her daughter and husband “every minute of every day”.
Her decision to tackle the climb over the “poignant” time of Christmas and New Year was because she is forced to “muddle through” the festive season while everyone else celebrated.
“I do treks anyway, so when I was diagnosed with breast cancer that’s when I had to stop doing treks,” she told 1News.
“And last New Year, it wasn’t very great - and I thought, ‘right, I’ve got to change things up here’ so I decided, why not climb Kilimanjaro?”
Gillian said she had two stones engraved with Grace and David’s names which she would leave on the summit.
“I’m going to put them up there so they’re travelling with me … and they’re part of it,” she told Newshub.
Gillian began to advocate for domestic violence survivors following the murder of her daughter, in the hope of preventing other parents from going through a similar ordeal.
She started Love Grace, a charity supporting victims of domestic abuse.
“I knew from the start when Grace was taken from us I had to do something to channel my grief somewhere. You can stay in that big black hole, but it’s a very lonely, horrible place.
“With White Ribbon we’ve got to raise awareness, that’s what we’ve got to do. We’ve got to try so some mum doesn’t have to go through this or some father doesn’t have to go through what I go through,” she told Newshub.
“Don’t get me wrong, I’d rather have Grace back but I can’t have that. So this is the next best thing.”
The handbag appeal was Love Grace’s most notable appeal, which Gillian explained as coming from her daughter’s love for handbags.
“We decided we would do something with handbags. [We decided] we would fill them with essential stuff like shampoo and conditioner - which we all take for granted. And then donate them to a local refuge,” she told Newshub.
“We initially thought we would do 50 to 150. Now I think we’re like 12,000, something like that probably more than that worldwide now.”
Gillian also thanked New Zealanders for their ongoing support.
“They took Grace to their heart. They took us to their hearts. When we were over there people recognised us but didn’t invade our space,” she told Newshub.
“I still get letters and messages of support and love … I can’t thank them enough. Grace is part of them, a New Zealander. They embraced us. They were amazing as a country and amazing people.”