Grace Millane's friends back campaign to end rough sex defence

Grace Millane's friends are backing a petition to stop "rough sex" being used as a defence in the UK courts after her image was "dragged through the mud" at the trial for her murder in New Zealand.

Last December, Millane died at Auckland's CityLife hotel, where she spent time with a man she met through the dating app Tinder.

He was found guilty of her murder.

During the trial, family and friends had to suffer through the witness' claims about Millane's sexual and private life.

During the trial, family and friends heard details of Millane's sexual preferences — claims she was unable to challenge.

Grazia magazine has started a petition calling on the UK Government to pass a new amended Domestic Abuse Bill that will end the use of the "rough sex" defence.

A month after the trial, Millane's university friends Chloe McCombe, Lucy Young and Lydia Nash spoke to Grazia, saying they were gutted about how the trial played out.

Because of suppression orders, her killer's identity has remained protected.

Young said that while her murderer's personal life had been left alone because of legal restrictions, Millane's image was "tainted with twisted claims about her personal life and victim-blaming language".

The 21-year-old graduated and headed home to spend time with family before travelling.

"Imagine losing a friend in a traumatic way. Then imagine having to hear every intricate detail of their death while the rest of the world speculates and comments.

"At times, it honestly felt like it was Grace on trial and not him."

McCombe added: "What made it hard was having to wake up every day during the trial and see her name being dragged through the mud.

"The only person to blame for Grace's death is the man who murdered her; who then had the audacity to instruct his defence to try and blame her for his actions."

Grace, far right, dressed up for her school ball.

She said it felt like everyone could share their opinion on Millane and the circumstances surrounding her death, despite not knowing her personally and Millane not being able to defend herself.

Millane's friends, who all met at Lincoln University, want her to be remembered as the "truly special" person she was.

"Grace Millane is more than just a headline. She had the most infectious laugh and a smile that could light up a room," McCombe said.

She added that Millane was a talented artist and hockey player, but most importantly she was loved her family and friends with her whole being.

Grace was an avid hockey player.

"Grace was a strong, courageous, brave and sassy woman who knew herself completely and loved those around her deeply. Grace was never afraid to speak her mind," she said.

Nash added: "Grace was intelligent, bubbly, compassionate and always smiling."

She said they were lucky to have found a friend like Millane in their lives and that they all miss her more than words can say.

Young said Millane was fierce, bubbly and had a real zest for life.

"She was so outgoing, so ready to take on every opportunity she was given. She had so much love; her wall at uni was filled with pictures of her family, her dogs, her friends," she said.

Grace Millane as a child in the snow.

She also revealed that Millane dreamed of travelling the world after all of her hard work at university.

They hope that once Parliament has resumed, the much-needed change to ban "rough sex" defence will finally happen.

"We won't ever stop fighting for her cause," they said.

Labour's Harriet Harman, along with Mark Garnier, has tabled amendments to the Domestic Abuse Bill to end the "rough sex" defence in the UK.

Harman, who is also backing Grazia's petition, said: "We want to add a clause to the Domestic Abuse Bill which states that, when a man kills a woman, he cannot claim as a defence that she consented to the violence which led to her death.

"As it stands, he can make claims about her sexual habits which are unchallengeable, as she's not there to speak up against him. It leaves families absolutely distraught and, ultimately, it's a way of him avoiding responsibility for what he's done."

Grazia's petition, alongside We Can't Consent To This, calls on the British government to pass the bill and their amendments, something that all three major party leaders last week told Grazia they would do ahead of the election — but change is not yet guaranteed.

To sign Grazia's petition, visit graziadaily.co.uk/end-rough-sex-defence.