When she was murdered, we said a lot.
We sent messages of love to her family. We flooded talkback and online comment sections from the deep well of our disgust.
Clutching tea lights and flowers clipped from our own gardens, we fell silent at vigils for a 22-year-old British backpacker most of us never met - and then spoke loudly for change, both in how women are sometimes treated in intimate relationships and encounters, and beyond to wider societal attitudes about misogyny and sexual violence.
Yesterday, Grace Millane's killer - who cannot legally be identified - was told by Justice Simon Moore in the High Court at Auckland he must spent at least 17 years in jail for the December 2018 murder.
The life sentence with a minimum non-parole period of 17 years comes two months after a jury rejected the 28-year-old's claim Millane died accidentally during rough sex, and instead said he was guilty of strangling the tourist, before stuffing her body into a suitcase and burying the suitcase in the Waitākere Ranges.
Now we'll talk about the killer's sentence.
There's been a lot of talk since a young woman came to New Zealand for fun and adventure, and was murdered 12 days later.
But has anything changed?
Yes and no, those on the frontline - among them the mother of murdered Dunedin woman Sophie Elliott - say.
Change is happening, but slowly, Holly Carrington, a policy adviser for domestic abuse charity Shine, said.
"Change in terms of public attention and beliefs generally happens slowly … it's a drip effect over time. But there have been some pretty significant events [lately]."
Chief was the viral Me Too movement, sparked by widespread sexual-abuse allegations against Hollywood movie producer Harvey Weinstein, which prompted an outpouring of similar stories from others who said they, too, had suffered sexual harassment and violence from figures both powerful and not.
"Awareness around this issue has exploded," Carrington said.
"It was slowly growing, but since Me Too nobody can say they don't know [violence against women] is a problem."
Similarly, Millane's murder couldn't be ignored.
"There's a step up in these times [of tragedy] because people are really emotional, because someone losing their life is really hard to ignore … and because she's a young woman, a lot of people can relate to her as being someone they know, like a sister."
When White Ribbon came to New Zealand in the mid-2000s, "men didn't want to know", Carrington said.
But a decade ago they started approaching White Ribbon street stands. The change was also apparent in domestic abuse awareness training.
"There's definitely a shift and I think it's more obvious amongst young men … there's more men willing to speak up."
But change on a meaningful level took time, she said.
"The problem side of it is still a massive problem."
The slow pace of change was obvious in the number of men charged in the 11 months since strangulation was made a specific criminal offence in December 2018, White Ribbon manager Rob McCann said.
Of 1365 charged with strangulation, 1319 were men, according to police data. Most victims were women.
"This is an opportunity for us to think, 'Are we just going to be horrified, or are we going to do something about it?'
"That means we need to start looking at causes and what we can do to prevent them. And it's not just locking bad men away."
Millane's killer "didn't come out of a vacuum".
"They're created and supported to become violent men with very bad attitudes towards women. Many people would've seen this behaviour over a long period, and throughout the trial you heard this stuff probably escalated. When we see that, we have to say, 'Mate, that's not okay'.
"Go back far enough in someone's life and you'll find those pivotal moments where you might be talking in a derogatory fashion about women and your mates turn the other way, and so you think that's okay."
He also encouraged parents to talk to their children about porn, so they understood what a respectful relationship was.
"We're not saying don't watch [porn]. But you've got to understand what you're watching is a really unhealthy fantasy."
He hoped Kiwis chose change following Millane's murder, and the many other acts of violence against women in New Zealand.
"There is the potential for our country to come out of this and go, 'We actually need to do something about it'.
"Or we can just be horrified by it, and then we'll read about it again in a year."
Millane's murder and that of Dunedin teen Amber-Rose Rush - stabbed 10 months earlier by former friend Venod Skantha, whom Rush had accused of sexually assaulting her - left her wondering if work tackling domestic violence was in vain, Lesley Elliott said.
Elliott founded the Sophie Elliott Foundation, which started the Loves-Me-Not programme, now run by police, to educate young people and their families about the dangers of unsafe and violent relationships, after her daughter was murdered by former boyfriend Clayton Weatherston in 2008.
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"When events like the murder of Grace Millane happen it can shake your faith into believing efforts to tackle domestic violence aren't really working. During the trial I found myself deeply affected and wanted to reach out to her parents … at the same time the murderer of Amber-Rose Rush was on trial in Dunedin and that felt too close to home.
"So one's belief that efforts of the foundation, and others, might be in vain began to surface."
She urged those inflicting domestic violence to change and for victims to "not accept violence in any form".
But, she also knew the efforts made in Sophie's memory were "making a difference".
Young women and their families had written to her "in droves", Elliott said.
"[That] anecdotal evidence … gives me tremendous heart that change will happen."
But it wouldn't be next week or even next year.
"It'll probably take a generation, so we have to hang in there. Sadly there will be more Grace's, Amber Rose's and Sophie's before we see a significant difference."
“No one should ever go through such a traumatising experience.”