God defend ... our da duhm da da anthem

By GRAHAM REID

As with most people, I can't recite any lyrics of God Defend New Zealand beyond the first verse. And, as with most people, I blame John Hart for that.

Oh, sorry, that was last year.

No, like most people, I blame the previous Government and television for this and most other things.

Nine years of National meant decent, ordinary folks, like those who went to Jim Anderton's open home on Sunday, didn't get invited to Vogel House where, every night before dinner, I am told, they used to sing Make our country good and great with the passion only the truly desperate can muster.

So the rest of us got a little out of practice, although the words "God defend New Zealand," shorn of melody, were heard pretty often.

Mostly television is to blame for people not knowing ringing phrases from Thomas Bracken's inspirational lyrics, such as From dishonour and from shame, guard our country's spotless name. Or, May our mountains ever be, freedom's ramparts on the sea, whatever that may mean to those on the Canterbury Plains.

Television has given us a more passive option than attending our great cultural gatherings. I refer, of course, to rugby matches where God Defend New Zealand is badly mimed by our biggest and most brutal while the assembled multitude bellows out God of Nations, at thy feet, in da duhm da dah-dah we meet.

These days while the anthem is happening most of us are yelling "Hey, it's just about to start" to people in the kitchen yelling "I'm just getting another beer. Anyone else while I'm here?"

By the time you are back in front of the set, the whole lounge is up thumping out the haka. God Defend New Zealand has been and gone - you've missed it again.

Oddly enough, the only time many people paid any attention to it - one of our two official anthems alongside God Save the Queen - was when it was sung by Hinewehi Mohi. That she sang it in Maori - one of our two official languages - was cause for a sudden rush of patriotism to the heads of people who had hitherto been untroubled by thoughts about the thing at all, and most of whom you suspect couldn't finish the couplet Peace, not war, shall be our boast...

For patriots and those mildly curious about the lyrics and tune, help is at hand.

The Department of Internal Affairs (with support from the Hillary Commission and with "thanks to the Lotto players of New Zealand") has released a CD of the national anthem, which it refers to as "singer-friendly."

It's available through their Website and can be downloaded by MP3 or Real-Player formats.

Uh-huh. You can just see the headmaster of your local school downloading this one as a priority.

It is also available on CD through libraries and sports clubs. And it's interesting.

Well, as interesting as any CD with five versions of the same song.

The CD helpfully comes with lyrics reprinted in English and Maori and was produced in response to a call by the National Sports Organisations (sorry, never heard of you) for more guidance in the anthem's delivery, especially in terms of pitch and tempo.

It seems in these attention-deficit times that asking anyone to get beyond the first verse, in either Maori or English, is, as our sportspeople like to say, "a big ask."

So those household names String of Pearls, Ainslie Allen (who "captured New Zealanders' hearts when she appeared as a senior member of the McDonald's Young Entertainers series in 1997/98") and Frankie Stevens limit themselves to the first verse, and all offer a bilingual treatment. There's a clunking quasi-rock instrumental version by David Dell included for sportspeople and civilians to sing along to.

What is interesting is these versions all sound better in Maori because of the language's mellifluous vowels. Kia hua ko te pai, kia tua to atawhai beats Guard Pacific's triple star from the shafts of strife and war hands down for assonance and internal flow.

Good though it is, I can't hear a hit single here. So, my local think-tank came up with another suggestion - a CD with all kinds of people doing it.

We drew up a list of potential candidates, but quickly knocked a few out.

Christine Fletcher had to go because although she'd start in one language we figured she'd change her mind and shift to the other.

Bob Jones and Aaron Cohen were disqualified on the grounds that they've had all the media coverage we can handle for some while, and the newly inaugurated Reverend, Graeme Lee, was outed because although he could bring heartfelt commitment to lines such as God defend our free land from dissension, envy, hate, and corruption, he's inclined to stutter and that would make the sentiment sound unconvincing.

Actually, what we really need to give this anthem some serious attention is a group of, say, attractive young women who are keen to perform, anxious for publicity and will sing anything put in front of them, whether it be a Burger King ad or a potential hit.

A group whose career entitles them to sing Hear our voices we entreat with genuinely desperate commitment.

We just couldn't think who that might be.