KEY POINTS:
Four times a year Rita Croskery gets a letter from the Parole Board to tell her that one of her son's six convicted killers will appear before the board.
Pizza deliverer Michael Choy was ambushed and beaten to death with a baseball bat in 2001.
Mrs Croskery will
relive the ordeal of confronting another of her son's killers next month - and faces two more parole hearings before the end of the year.
She gets the letters because she is on the Victim Notification Register but each time they arrive pain comes rushing back.
What keeps her fighting is a promise she made to her son at his funeral.
"I made a vow to my son when I saw him in the coffin with a battered face, that I'd do whatever I could to stop these things happening and that is the vow that I'm honouring," she said.
Mrs Croskery has been notified that Riki Rapira, convicted of manslaughter, is up for parole next month.
"I received this notice in June but it's not until August. I'm constantly thinking about it and the nightmares return.
"You can't sleep and it's always on your mind. It brings back the horrible way he died," Mrs Croskery said.
She will get a further two letters before Christmas, to let her know that brothers Joe and Phillip Kaukasi will be in front of the Parole Board in September and December respectively.
The youngest killer, Bailey Junior Kurariki, lost his bid for parole on Wednesday.
"This has been going on ever since my son was murdered. There's always been a court case or a hearing ... the last six years have been hell."
Board chairman Judge David Carruthers said the process was hard for victims and their families.
"New Zealand is considered a leader in the international community in terms of assessing the impact on victims and using that information in the decision-making process," he said.
Board spokeswoman Sonja de Friez said a support person could read out a victim's submission.
Mrs Croskery and Michael Choy's fiancee, Bernadette Simmons, appeared before the Parole Board hearing for Kurariki.
He is due to be released in September next year, but Mrs Croskery feels she has been given a life sentence.
"You relive the horror of how he died. When he asked for help, there was no help. You wouldn't do that to an animal."
The earliest the nightmare will stop is 2011 when the two convicted of murder - Alexander Tokorua Peihopa and Whatarangi Rawiri - will be eligible for their first parole hearings.
Sonja de Friez said conditions could be imposed on released prisoners for six months, such as where they could live and who they could see.
Kurariki will be eligible to apply for parole again in January.
