From grief to pure joy: Mother who lost daughter gives birth to boy

Chantal and Conor Kerlin with their three children. Photo / Michael Craig

A mother whose toddler drowned in a swimming pool last year has had a 'beautiful experience' welcoming a new baby boy into her family.

Chantal Kerlin,37, told the Herald on Sunday her new son Sequoyah- a Cherokee name for both the tallest and longest living tree in the world and sparrow - came into the world before the midwife arrived.

"It was around dinner time. I went into the birthing pool and I think the warmth brought on the labour. I hopped out and said to my husband I need to push.

"My son Marley, 10, was holding my back because I was on the floor. He and Luciana, 7, both cut the cord together and dad caught the baby – it was a beautiful experience."

Sequoyah was born on August 6 and weighed 3.9kg and is a "mellow and chilled" baby, Kerlin said.

Chantal and Conor Kerlin with Sequoyah, Luciana and Marley, and a photo of Saylor. Photo / Michael Craig

Kerlin discovered she was pregnant eight weeks after her two-and-a-half-year-old daughter Saylor died.

"I felt a lot of guilt and pain. This gift wasn't planned but I believe this little soul came into our life for a reason, he has brought so much joy into our life again.

"When we lost Saylor it was like losing a chunk of our heart, nothing was the same again."

Saylor was found unconscious in a friend's pool in October last year. She died four days later surrounded by friends and family at Starship's intensive care.

"The hardest thing for me was hanging onto hope but knowing deep inside she wouldn't pull through.

"When I was told she wasn't going to make it I lost it. I wanted to die to be with her. I couldn't think about my other children or my husband."

Overwhelmed by grief, Kerlin became reliant on heavy medication to get through each day.

"Drugs masked the pain. I was completely numb – I fell into a pit of despair and it took me a long time to get out of that dark hole. I was in so much pain I was suicidal and a manic depressant.

"My husband who is an advocate for medicinal cannabis gave me some oil which really helped. I could finally sleep and I was back to myself- the pain was gone."

Kerlin is now medication free and didn't even take Panadol during the birth.

She says it's important to take talk about death openly and not to hide away from society.

Chantal Kerlin and her baby boy Sequoyah. Photo / Michael Craig

"Society doesn't want us to talk about death but everyone dies. It's horrible when we have to experience it - especially the death of a child. And seeing your children grieve is the hardest thing. But it's okay to cry.

"The most important thing is to be true to yourself and to listen to your inner voice."

Not a minute goes by where Kerlin isn't thinking about Saylor.

"She was an amazing soul. Whenever she saw me she would come running up to me. She had a great smile - fearless, wild and free.

"She didn't miss a beat, it was like she knew she was only going to be here for a short time but in those two years, man she lived."

The mother and daughter connect through meditation and Kerlin believes Sequoyah is a gift from Saylor.

"Saylor is still with us, we feel her energy. She will put words into my head. I can hear 'Mummy I love you"."

Kerlin is hoping for one more child for her family to be "complete again".

"I feel it would be nice to have that four number. To have another child is something we will definitely love to consider if it feels right. Kids bring so much joy. Going through this experience I have learnt so much about myself and what is important to me - and being a mother is the most beautiful thing."