KEY POINTS:
Parental influence on teenage career decisions is huge and needs to be used wisely.
June's* 19 year old son Felix enrolled at uni because it was an easy option. She pushed him into accounting because he was good at it and it would lead to a secure high paying job; things June values highly. However Felix had no passion for accounting, didn't attend lectures and fails his semester papers.
Nora* is struggling through first year health sciences. Her family are pushing her to become a doctor because it is a 'good' profession. She has always struggled with biology. She tries hard, but doesn't get into medicine. She feels she has let her family down but can't do better.
Roy* is a lawyer in his early thirties. He does okay, but is dissatisfied. He has no real interest in law. He is passionate about art, but dropped painting in the 6th form because his parents told him they'd pay for his law study but not a fine arts degree. He is now regrets his buy in.
Having read the career stories of over 3000 people through her work on AUT's career development course, senior lecturer and career counsellor Robyn Bailey says family influence on career decision making is major.
"It is very clear family has a huge influence at all sorts of levels. Sometimes it is about support or the lack of it, but there is also be a lot of expectation from families."
While it is an important influence, it can also be an obstacle if parents don't understand the 21st century world of work, says Bailey.
"Today's teenagers' experiences are going to be very different to yours because there are now very few straightforward career paths. Where they start is not where they'll end up."
This western concept of choosing career paths can be particularly confusing and foreign to immigrant parents who have come to New Zealand with different values and belief systems, often giving up satisfying careers to give their children the chance of a better life.
Finding a value fit is an important part of Western career decision making, and if pleasing family is a high priority, then it needs to be taken that into consideration, says Bailey.
So, she says, it is really important for these families to gain that knowledge of the 21st century world of work, realise there are no set paths and that success can be defined in many ways and is more likely when values and interests are met.
Career Services North Shore career consultant Janine Begg agrees it is important for all parents to expand their frames of reference. "What you know is not necessarily all there is to know. Nor is your information necessarily current or accurate. But the more you find out about careers, the more informed and helpful your guidance can be."
A common parental fear is of children making 'wrong' or 'bad' decisions and this puts stress on all concerned, says career consultant and life coach, Allison Fisher.
"Parents need to get rid of the idea there is only one choice. Heading out of high school is a first big step for teenagers but it is also the start of a journey through which they will grow and learn and also change their ideas about what they want. It is the first of many choices and changes."
This is because there is no such thing as a job for life any longer. People change jobs on an average every five to seven years, moving to other careers or self employment, as well as going for promotions or similar jobs in a different organisation.
"As a life coach I see a lot of people in their twenties and thirties wanting to make changes," says Fisher.
To make a decision, young people need to have knowledge about themselves and their options. Pushing them into something of no interest to them, even if of high interest to the parent, is not going to result in a positive outcome.
Fisher's advice to parents is simple. Be open, be interested and be supportive and encouraging of any idea your teenager has.
"Encourage them to think deeper by asking about their ideas; what skills do you need for that? Can I help you find out more? How about talking to someone in that role? Use the internet to find out more."
An approach Begg finds useful for teenagers who are lost is to suggest a self designed apprenticeship. Taking time out of full time study can be valuable and useful as long as there is structure around it.
"Setting up a self designed apprenticeship provides navigational tools for teenagers so parents don't feel their kids are just wandering off into the wilderness. It is like creating a jigsaw pieces for your life for the next few months."
This could involve doing a short course to develop specific skills like keyboarding, doing a couple of part time jobs that develop a range of skills, reading about particular roles or industries, travelling. It is about working to a plan that gives direction but also allows you take up opportunities as they come along.
"If they're not sure, that's okay, as long as they keep moving forward, and keep learning while keeping out of trouble, such as avoiding criminal convictions that prevent overseas travel or having to deal with an unwanted pregnancy. And that goes for guys, as well as girls," adds Begg.
Values and interests are the biggest predictors of satisfying career choices, not school marks or achievements, says Bailey.
But knowledge and skill development are obviously also essential to the career path.
"After all it is knowledge and skills that get you hired. However, it is important to remember that knowledge and skills can come from multiple places, not just academic study," says Bailey.
She uses a garage or shed metaphor to explain to clients the usefulness of any exploration and skill development. Just as we collect stuff in a garage from different stages of our lives, so do we collect skills and knowledge, says Bailey.
"People collect together all sorts of skills and knowledge and then further into their lives they transfer and combine skills in a way that would have been unimaginable initially."
Tips for parents
* How to infiltrate career awareness into children's everyday lives, according to Career Services career consultant Janine Begg.
Ask transferable open questions as part of normal family conversation, eg 'What skills did you learn today at school?', 'Where else can you use that skill?'
What did XX do before they were famous? How did they become famous? What goals might they have set? What challenges did they have to overcome? What will they do now they're retiring? What sporting skills could they use in other work?
Reading the news pays how much? Whoooo - compare that to answering phones! Let's get the calculator and work out the hourly rate.
Develop work awareness within your community by pointing out people's roles; doctor, hospital, shop, warehouse, garden centre.
If your child wants to take a subject you feel is a waste of time, suggest researching into the kind of skills they'll be learning and careers it may lead into. It might surprise both of you.
Tell your children about your career. Describe the skills you use and your service or industry. Who uses your product or service? What do your colleagues do?
Do your children know your work story? How you got your job? How you decided what you wanted to study? The differences between now and then.
What do the members of your extended whanau and friends do? Bring their different careers into every day conversation.
Take teenagers to work for a day, or in the holidays. Expose them to as many unpaid work experience opportunities as possible through friends and family.
Research using Career Services job information section of the website as a starting point. It contains accessible information about hundreds and hundreds of New Zealand occupations.
