New study finds three quarters of Kiwi mothers don't feel their mental health was supported before and after childbirth. Video / Carson Bluck
Shannon Caetano’s two pregnancies were far from easy.
She was plagued by a condition known as hyperemesis gravidarum and spent most of her days with crippling dizziness and nausea.
The Auckland-based mother says she struggled to walk, drive and work and would vomit up to 30 times a day.
“Now I know what people feel like when they say they’ve got chronic illness or sickness. You know, I never compare it to what some people go through, but to me it just felt like it was never gonna end.”
Not only did her experience take a physical toll, but her mental health suffered too.
“There were often times where I was like, gosh, it would be so easy if my life ended right now and I wouldn’t have to go through it, someone could just take the baby out of me. There were other times when I just didn’t even want to get out of bed.”
Caetano had never suffered anxiety or depression before her pregnancies and says her experience took her to a dark place.
Shannon Caetano with her husband and two children.
She isn’t alone, with a new survey revealing 93 per cent of mums across New Zealand and Australia felt anxious or fearful during pregnancy.
But only a quarter of them felt as if their mental health was supported by the healthcare system.
“Aside from my GP asking me, and my husband asking me or my friends, not a single one actually offered mental health support,” Caetano says. “As in, you weren’t even given a referral to go to one.
“It was like everyone just forgot post-birth. Everyone forgot that you had gone through it and all the focus just shifted onto the baby.”
Caetano works in the healthcare sector but says it was her experience as a patient that gave her the biggest wake-up.
“I think our health system is in a state of decline in this country. It really is.”
Midwife Libby Cain sees mothers struggling every day and says there just aren’t enough resources to help.
“A mum’s mental health can get so bad in pregnancy because of anxiety that they sometimes get admitted to hospital.
“There’s units in several parts of the country and [sometimes] they need to be separated from their family and admitted to hospital and watched, because they are a bit of a danger to themselves.”
The study’s confronting numbers form the backbone of a new “pregnancy paradox” campaign, aiming to highlight both the beautiful and not-so-beautiful parts of childbirth and motherhood.
Mum Lara Henderson, founder of skincare brand Pure Mama, commissioned the study and says too often Kiwi women suffer in silence.
“We really wanted to open up this conversation around this paradox of I can feel one way but also feel another way at the same time. So you can be really excited, and really nervous, you can be really grateful, but you also can’t wait for it to end.”
She says with little support from the healthcare sector, it’s important to create a safe space for Kiwi mums to air their worries.
“But when you’ve got one in four people having a miscarriage or people struggling with infertility, how do you say something about how you’re not enjoying pregnancy?
“You know, [it’s always] just be grateful …”
The study comes six weeks after the issue of postpartum depression was thrust into the spotlight during the trial of South African mother Lauren Dickason, who was found guilty of murdering her three young children in Timaru in 2021.
Cain says the details of the murder trial were confronting. “I often look at that case and think why the hell was somebody not helping this mum? I know she wasn’t here very long, but the whole care of her is unbelievable and maybe someone’s going to learn from it.”
Caetano agrees and worries for the mothers out there who aren’t lucky enough to have a tight network around them.
“If I didn’t have the support system that I currently have and have had, I don’t even know whether I’d be around. It gets hard, it gets really hard, and it’s really hard because once you’re down that hole, how do you get out of it?”
Until the healthcare system can stop women getting there in the first place, it’s hoped an open dialogue will help to provide the support that many lack.
SUICIDE AND DEPRESSION
Where to get help:
• Lifeline: Call 0800 543 354 or text 4357 (HELP) (available 24/7)
