Findings frustrate abused cadet

The 16-year-old Army cadet Ronald Ramsdale

The sun was shining on Ronald Ramsdale's caravan at Puriri Park in Orewa yesterday afternoon.

In October last year when he became the face of the Waiouru Army cadet scandal it was pouring with rain.

The 57-year-old was crying, staring at a photo of himself as a 16-year-old.

Looking back was a scared boy with the words "I am dirty foul stinking" scrawled across his body.

They were put there by cadet non-commissioned officers (NCOs), who it has now been confirmed were part of a culture of bullying at the school.

Yesterday an inquiry into allegations of abuse at the Army's former cadet training school in Waiouru was released, and while Mr Ramsdale says it does not go far enough, the words to describe the abuse he suffered over 18 months at the school now come easier.

"I can talk about it now. I don't like it but I can talk about it now, but it brings it all back," Mr Ramsdale says.

The inquiry, by High Court Judge David Morris, found bullying like that suffered by Mr Ramsdale took place but there was no culture of violence.

"It was a bastard of a place."

His picture, published by the Weekend Herald, has had cadets from years before contact him to tell him their stories. "Everybody recognises me but I don't recognise them."

The inquiry was important he says, but it has left him feeling those in charge have not acknowledged the full extent of what happened.

There is no compensation.

He says he has sent all his information to a lawyer in the hope of taking his case further.

He claims he is sterile after one incident where cadet NCOs rolled up a wet towel and hit his penis repeatedly with it.

He still wears the thick glasses like those in the photo. The NCOs broke them three times.

He says his time at the school changed his life. He struggled to trust people, could not hold down jobs and did not have many friends.

"Since it came out things keep coming back to me."

He was dragged from hot showers to cold ones, scrubbed down with a brush still covered in boot polish.

On some days and nights he tried to hide in the hospital base to avoid the abuse. He could not cry because they just beat him harder.

"They say it happened right? But what about those people that did it and knew about it? What are they going to do about it?"