AUDREY YOUNG had an early look at the Budget, and some Budget traditions.
It's 1.15pm and the journalists who will deliver judgment on Michael Cullen's third Budget have already digested it and are happily swapping one-liners over the savories and teacups in the Banquet Hall.
"Almost as boring as the last one,"
says an Australian press gallery reporter who prefers not to be named.
"I think I'll pull out last year's story and just change some of the numbers."
"I wish I'd brought something to read," says a television reporter with a short attention span.
"The blank Budget," offers another for a neat summary of Dr Cullen's work.
"How about Dull and Duller?"
It's the annual ritual of "the Budget lockup" and it requires unbelievable sacrifice.
About 80 finance and political journalists must surrender their cellphones at 11.30am for 2 1/2 hours to get a head start on the Budget.
The literature is a pile of five thick books of outlooks, forecasts, strategies, updates, assumptions and scenarios, as well as the Budget speech.
Stories are typed ready into laptops but nothing can be sent away for publication until the relevant words have literally rolled off Dr Cullen's tongue. This is why it is called a rolling embargo.
Dr Cullen comes in part way through the lock-up to answer questions.
He is dressed enigmatically in mauve and is shadowed by associate Trevor Mallard, dressed even more enigmatically in mauve.
"My shirt was purple, his was white and they got washed together," Mr Mallard explains on his way out.
This is as believable as his statement that he is not mad at secondary school teachers taking wildcat strikes - who were represented in special Budget Day protest outside Parliament.
It is impossible to hear the questions thrown to Dr Cullen and a little difficult to hear the answers. The acoustics in the curved room wrapped on the outer of the Beehive are poor.
The 70s-style chandeliers double as a speaker system, which is not surprising given that the same hall displays a giant wool carpet on its foyer wall. Its wooden floor, pitted with stiletto heel marks, suggests it has seen sexier days than Budget lockups.
Dr Cullen's officials, the Treasury, are the Banquet Hall hosts.
This year the rules are stipulated in writing: "Treasury officials are on hand to answer questions - all answers are to be on a non-attribution basis. Treasury officials are here to inform, not engage in political debate."
Believe it or not, it is signed by Chris Money. Oh well, at least it wasn't Richie Rich.
An education official is also on hand to answer queries about tertiary education - Eru Dite perchance?
Some helpless young Treasury official is called over by grumpy Herald commentator Colin James who is annoyed that a loose-leaf forecast table is in March years when the Budget is in June years. Unaccountable silliness.
Where is the June table, he asks. See page 36, is the answer he needs.
The heart rate quickens in Herald colleague Fran Mold, a former health reporter. She believes she might be on to some deceptive figures tucked into the health vote. She makes more inquiries of an unnamed Treasury official and is eventually satisfied the figures stack up.
Colin James recalls that Sir Robert Muldoon instigated the Budget lock-up when he delivered Budgets at 7.30pm.
Traditions have changed. Those were the days when the Herald editor would receive an embargoed copy at 6pm.
Senior staff would gather around in his office (it has always been a "his") and listen to him read the Budget out loud.
Colin James was himself locked out of a lock-up. He was editor of National Business Review, in a previous incarnation, which Muldoon regarded at the time as "the Sunday News of the financial press" and barred them.
The next Finance Minister, Roger Douglas, continued the 6pm lock-up but plied journalists with sumptuous food and alcohol.
No such luck these days. As one would expect of a Treasury lunch, no modesty is spared.
Chunks of feijoa and pears, club sandwiches, and sausage rolls (cut in quarters), and tea and coffee are offered after Dr Cullen has left.
Nouvelle cuisine might have been a better match for this year's Budget, suggests a colleague.
"Looks nice but not much substance."
Full Herald coverage:
nzherald.co.nz/budget
Budget links - including Treasury documents:
nzherald.co.nz/budgetlinks
Feasting on snacks at a Budget banquet
AUDREY YOUNG had an early look at the Budget, and some Budget traditions.
It's 1.15pm and the journalists who will deliver judgment on Michael Cullen's third Budget have already digested it and are happily swapping one-liners over the savories and teacups in the Banquet Hall.
"Almost as boring as the last one,"
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