Father's poignant letter to police: Thank you for saving my daughter's life

An angry teenage alcoholic who attacked a police officer was once told by a counsellor she was destined for an early death.

But five years on from rehab she's sober, engaged, owns a property and is employed in a job she loves - prompting her father to write a poignant letter to police thanking them for saving his daughter's life.

The Herald spoke to the girl, her dad and a top cop. This is their story.

Sneaking out

At only 13, sneaking out to drink with friends who had covertly pinched alcohol from their parents' liquor cabinets quickly became the "norm".

Drugs followed.

"Quite early in the piece, I drank myself so silly that I passed out in a puddle of my own vomit," the woman, now a North Shore teacher, said.

After that she always drank to the point of blackout or vomiting.

"I think a lot of Kiwis will do that when they are younger - the difference for me was that I couldn't stop myself from doing it.

"My drug of choice to get me through the day was pot. It was actually synthetic marijuana for a while but that made me really psychotic.

"On the weekends it was whatever was on hand - ecstasy, MDMA, speed, LSD."

She hit rock bottom when she lashed out at a police officer who was trying to help her during a night out in Takapuna aged 19.

"I can remember being kicked out of the bar. I can't remember how I ended up talking to the police officer and I can't actually remember hitting her.

"But I can remember the moment after - the realisation of what I had done and then being put in handcuffs."

A friend pleaded with the officer to let her off with a warning. Shortly after being let go, the then teen jumped into a taxi and told the driver she was going to take her own life.

The taxi driver called police.

"Of course it was the same police officer who had dealt with me moments before," she said.

The 19-year-old kicked and screamed after being dropped home to her parents.

She "reluctantly" went into rehab a month later.

"It felt like the whole world had turned against me because how could I end up here."

A counsellor told her there were only three likely outcomes if she continued on the path she was on: Jail, institutions or death.

"My money's on death for you," she recalled him saying.

"That was a real wake up call ... how many people had he seen come in and out of this place? And he was standing there telling me he thought I was going to die."

Now in her mid-20s and looking back at her lowest point, her former mindset is now unrecognisable.

"I can't believe I ever thought like that but it is so amazing to not feel like that at all."

Recovery was something she still works on everyday.

"It's one step at a time ... Get through today. Sometimes it's get through that hour or get through that minute.

"Slowly but surely it will pass."

It was important to know that nobody was alone and to reach out for help, she said.

Dark days

Her father also recalled the dark days with his daughter.

His sweet, loving, empathetic girl was mean and nasty when drunk.

Her parents were concerned about her health but did not realise she was addicted, he said.

"Unbeknownst to us, three years in [aged 16] she started smoking synthetic cigarettes."

The night police brought her home was long dreaded.

"That knock at the door that we had been waiting for, we finally got it.

"The policewoman who had been assaulted by her had every right to have her arrested and charged for what she had done," he said.

But somehow the officer recognised the teenager desperately needed help, the father said.

"She didn't charge her and referred her to mental health assistance."

A conviction at that stage could have shut off so many opportunities - careers, travel.

Young people in that state never thought of those consequences, he said.

"That officer's moment of wisdom literally saved our daughter's life."

A new life

There were so many things his daughter had achieved since that would probably have never happened had she been arrested that night, he said.

He felt so grateful for the police intervention that he wrote a letter in March this year to Waitemata District commander Superintendent Tusha Penny thanking police and asking for an opportunity to say so in person.

Penny told the Herald police often dealt with young people in similar situations.

"I am really proud of our frontline staff ... They literally are making decisions like this all the time.

"Our people are incredible. Each and every day we have this group of New Zealanders who put on a police uniform and go out and risk their lives for people they have never met."

What was quite special about this case was that the people involved came back after celebrating five years of being clean to say thank you, Penny said.

"That's what we often miss."

Waitemata District Commander Superintendent Tusha Penny. Photo / Jason Oxenham

The father and daughter made a presentation to a room full of supervisors and the impact on every leader in that room was significant, Penny said.

"This is what you get out of bed for to be honest."

The actions of one police officer who truly did care had changed the entire course of a girl's life.

Mental Health Foundation chief executive Shaun Robinson said it was common for people to suffer with both addiction and depression.

"People often self medicate their difficult thoughts and feelings through the use of alcohol or other drugs," he said.

In his personal experience with bipolar, before he had help, he would drink heavily as a way to mange the horrible thoughts and feelings.

It could be a very vicious cycle, compounding mental health problems, he said.

It could also be difficult to see the signs of someone in distress.

"Trust your gut and don't be afraid to ask, 'Are you okay?'"

The simple act of reaching out was incredibly important, he said.

***

Alcohol Healthwatch executive director Dr Nicki Jackson said between 2006 and 2011 there were positive changes in young people's drinking behaviour.

Fewer young people were drinking or doing so hazardously.

However, there was still a long way to go in reforming the country's excessive drinking culture.

Data from last year showed one in seven girls aged 15 to 17 were drinking hazardously, but that number was about one in three for the 18 to 24 age bracket, Jackson said.

In adolescence it had often been the case that girls and boys were on par but at that 18-24 mark a big gap started to emerge, she said.

In that age bracket nearly half the country's boys were drinking hazardously.

"Both levels are too high and they have to come down."

Getting into drinking at an early age increased the likelihood of later dependency and experiencing alcohol related harm, she said.

Parents should always ask their children where they were going and who with, she said.

"Young people want a sense of belonging; they want to know someone is looking out for them."

Where to get help
ALCHOL DRUG HELPLINE: 0800 787 797
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS: 0800 229 6757
LIFELINE: 0800 543 354 (24 hours)
DEPRESSION HELPLINE: 0800 111 757
LIFELINE: 0800 543 354
SAMARITANS: 0800 726 666
YOUTHLINE: 0800 376 633 or text 234
1737 NEED TO TALK? Call or text 1737