Father: Just give me any sentence

Kinnary and Ashish Macwan are still struggling to cope with their son's death. Photo / Paul Estcourt

A father who accidentally caused the death of his son will accept whatever punishment he is given because nothing will be as bad as a life without the 3-year-old.

Ashish Macwan says he will never forget the day his only child, Aarush, drowned in the back of a van that rolled backwards into a freezing South Island lake.

He had stopped the rented Toyota Hiace beside Lake Dunstan in Otago during a family holiday because his wife, Kinnary, was unwell and he wanted to stretch his legs after driving for two hours.

But the handbrake was not on and the van shot backwards down a bank and plunged into the lake. It sank 5m beneath the surface with Aarush inside trapped by his seatbelt.

Yesterday, Ashish Macwan, 32, pleaded guilty in the Manukau District Court to careless driving causing death. He will be sentenced in August.

After his guilty plea, Macwan told the Herald he was ready for whatever might happen at sentencing.

The maximum penalty is three months' jail or a $4500 fine and a six-month suspension of licence.

"Truly I'm not worried about what might happen. Whatever sentence might come - to me losing Aarush is such a big thing I can't feel anything - just give me any sentence. It doesn't make any difference because it's not going to be bigger than that."

The family had been in New Zealand less than a year before the tragedy but Macwan said there was no chance he and his wife would return home to India and leave their son behind. "We just want to stay with Aarush."

If they had been allowed, the parents would have taken their son back to India for burial, but Macwan was forbidden to leave the country because he was facing the criminal charges.

"We don't want to leave New Zealand even when the case is finished because he's here. This is our home now and we don't want to leave him."

Macwan said he had relived the tragedy many times and wished he had done many things differently but knew that dwelling on what might have been would not help.

"Still, it's something as parents that haunts us."

Macwan said he pleaded guilty because there was "no point dragging it on". He never had any intention of fighting it and does not feel any bitterness towards police for charging him.

Since the accident and Aarush's funeral three days later, the couple had struggled with day-to-day activities.

"It keeps coming back. We thought with time it would get better but I think with time it's getting more [painful]."

It was worse when they went to places they had previously visited with Aarush. They have left his bedroom the way it was before they went on their Easter holiday.

Macwan worried about his wife, who he said still struggled to sleep. "Each time she closes her eyes she sees [the accident]."

In court, lawyer Frank Parrera said Macwan admitted he should have applied the handbrake on the vehicle.

He requested Macwan's surrendered passport be returned so he could apply for renewal of his work permit, which expires in August.

Judge Jane Lovell-Smith agreed on condition that Macwan did not apply for travel documents.

- Additional reporting: Otago Daily Times