"He was incredibly charming and everyone loved him."
However, she says in the early stages of their relationship things began to change.
Looking back, she knows she was being psychologically abused but at the time she did not recognise it, she says.
"I had always considered myself to be a strong person," she said.
"Whenever I heard of women who stayed in abusive relationships I could not understand why they did not leave straight away."
Her ex, she said, was "very manipulative and controlling".
"When the put-downs came he left me feeling as though it was my doing, and I desperately wanted him to treat me like he did at the beginning and would do all I could to try and prove to him how much I loved him," she told the Herald.
"After the birth of our first child, it moved from psychological abuse to physical.
"It started with him kicking me and then pulling my hair, spitting on me and pulling me, shoving me.
"He would tell me when I told him it was physical abuse that it wasn't because he had not used his fists."
When she was heavily pregnant with her second child, she became upset at her husband when he arrived home late.
In response, he dragged her across their bed by the hair and would not let her go until she apologised for berating him.
The couple separated when their second child was young.
"I was emotionally drained and could not bear to be around him anymore.
"I also did not want my kids to grow up thinking it was acceptable to stay in an abusive relationship just because you have children together."
She said it felt harder for her to leave or get any help because of her husband's job. She felt people would not believe her because of his status.
"I had kept hidden from people who knew us what he was like behind closed doors," she said. "No one would believe me over him."
She has since remarried a man who she describes as "lovely" and "incredibly supportive".
But her ex-husband still haunts her.
"I feel at times that I am still in that abusive marriage due to the effect he can have on myself and my family."
She spoke about her experience in a bid to show that family violence can - and does - happen in all kinds of homes.
READ MORE:
Family violence: 'Just pick up the phone, we could save your life'
Family violence survivor: 'Christmas was HELL'
Family harm and intimate partner violence happens in the poorest of Kiwi homes and the richest.
Among the victims are our most educated people, and our most vulnerable.
They are young and old. They are from all ethnicities.
The term family violence encompasses intimate partner violence, child abuse, elderly abuse and the abuse of disabled people within families. By far the most significant of all family violence is men abusing women.
No one is immune.
Another woman reached out to the Herald to share her story, which is strikingly similar to the former sportsman's ex-wife.
"I got married when I was 21 to a guy I met at church, who I thought was a great guy," said Sarah, who did not want her surname published.
"He had this charm and confidence which I was initially attracted to.
"When we were dating I noticed ... how critical and harsh he was [to others], but ... I thought 'he will never treat me that way'.
"He was also quite controlling, but at the time I saw it as 'protective'."
As soon as they were married her life changed dramatically.
He started calling her derogatory names and became extremely controlling, demanding to know what she spoke to her friends about.
"He didn't like me going to my doctor by myself and would insist on coming because 'I couldn't explain myself well'," she said.
"If I said no he would lecture me for a long time and I would sit there silently feeling like I was dying inside.
"If I got up to leave the room he often would become aggressive, so I felt trapped."
He convinced her that she was not good at communicating, had a bad memory, that other people found her "annoying".
"I started to believe it. He would tell me ... I was crazy and there was something wrong with me and after he hurt me he would deny it was happening," she revealed. "When I stood up for myself that's when the physical abuse started, but he never left marks, as I think he was too clever for that.
"He would grab me, shove me against walls, put his head up to my face and scream."
That took a huge toll on her mentally and physically, but she "kept up appearances" at work and in public so the world thought they were a "happy young couple".
"All this time I had no idea I was in an abusive relationship. I thought that was for older women who have been badly physically abused.
"The psychological torture of those times [was] horrible."
She left the marriage after two years but regrets staying at all.
"When I tried to talk to people when I was married they said 'but I know he loves you' and because I am a Christian there was a lot of guilt around leaving a marriage."
She left after a terrifying assault just after they bought their first home together.
During an argument he wrapped a blanket around her, trapping her.
"[He had] an eerie smile on his face and inside I knew then I wasn't safe anymore," she said.
Leaving was hard, she said, and was made more difficult when he started telling people lies and stories about her.
"I think a lot of people don't want to face this problem in the community, so blaming the victim and shrugging it off is easier."
Now, she loves her life and has "the best" new partner, job and home.
She spoke out because she is "so passionate" about raising awareness around family violence.
"I don't want any young girls out there in relationships like this thinking they are stuck, thinking it's not that bad."
If you're in danger NOW:
• Phone the police on 111 or ask neighbours or friends to ring for you
• Run outside and head for other people
• Scream for help so your neighbours can hear you
• Take the children with you
• Don't stop to get anything else
• If you are being abused, remember it's not your fault. Violence is never okay.
Where to go for help or more information:
• Women's Refuge: Free national crisis line operates 24/7 - 0800 REFUGE or 0800 733 843 womensrefuge.org.nz
• Shine, free national helpline 9am-11pm every day - 0508 744 633 2shine.org.nz
• It's Not Ok: Information line 0800 456 450 areyouok.org.nz
• Shakti: Providing specialist cultural services for African, Asian and Middle Eastern women and their children. Crisis line 24/7 0800 742 584
• Ministry of Justice: justice.govt.nz/family-justice/domestic-violence
• National Network of Stopping Violence: nnsvs.org.nz
• White Ribbon: Aiming to eliminate men's violence towards women, focusing this year on sexual violence and the issue of consent. whiteribbon.org.nz
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Shakti
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Women's Refuge
New Zealand has the worst rate of family and intimate-partner violence in the developed world. Over the Christmas and New Year period the number of incidents spikes dramatically. Fewer than 20 per cent are reported to the police - so what we know of family violence in our community over the festive season is barely the tip of the iceberg. Today we have a simple message - every Kiwi has a right to a safe, fear free and happy holiday. We are revisiting our campaign We're Better Than This to raise awareness, educate, and give an insight into the victims and perpetrators. We want to encourage victims to have the strength to speak out, and abusers the courage to change their behaviour.