“I’m exhausted and it’s an ongoing battle, really – with no kind of hope on the other side of the tunnel,” she says.
Her partner, Rikki Tako, was diagnosed with an aggressive form of brain cancer – glioblastoma brain stem tumour – shortly after being hit in the head in a workplace incident at his job in New Plymouth late last year.
At 32 years old, he is now receiving hospice care. The whānau has been told that he has months to live.
Garrett explains their everyday routine, which starts when Tako wakes up any time between 4am and 6am.
‘I’m a registered nurse and I can’t keep up’
“He kind of figures his day out – or tries to. I get up then I get the kids ready, I make sure Rikki’s alright, I drop the kids off [to school] and then we normally have hospice appointments.
“I try to walk the dogs so they’re not in Rikki’s face, Rikki has a rest, pick up the kids, take the kids to sports, come home, do dinner, make sure Rikki’s alright and by then Rikki’s kind of lost his balance... and so I’m helping him.”
She is a registered nurse, but even she can’t keep up, she says.
“It’s definitely rough and exhausting.”
Rikki Tako, 32, has been diagnosed with a cancer known as brain stem glioblastoma.
The couple has been together for eight years and have four children.
Since the devastating diagnosis, Tako has had to leave his job. Garrett has also quit her job to take care of her partner full-time because it is the right thing to do, she says. Her 16-year-old brother, who is under their care, tried to leave school to find a job to help but the couple refused as they want him to finish his studies.
They are receiving some assistance from Work and Income, but Garrett said they were struggling financially.
‘Our life was just starting out’
She also acknowledged that there needed to be more health and hospice assistance available to Māori. Tako has roots to Ngāti Porou.
For many Māori, having a health worker come in to provide care for them was a no-go because of cultural protocols and reasons, she says.
“He’s only 32 years old. He doesn’t want a random coming in doing these things for him. It’s about respecting his dignity.”
Just a few months ago, they were doing well and working towards purchasing a home of their own. They had big dreams and were excited for the future.
“We were about to be in a position to buy our own house, but then this all happened. Our life was just starting out,” she said.
“He was just starting his own concrete cutting company, I was working and we were just starting that next chapter of our lives.”
Speaking about her partner, she said he was trying hard to be strong for them.
“He’s trying to. But it’s breaking him – as it would anyone. He’s young and so a lot of his friends have just disappeared because they’re scared and don’t understand because it’s not something that you expect at this age.”
Garrett gave a special thank you to members of the public and all those who had helped their whānau during this time via a Givealittle page set up by friends.
“I’m not really too sure what to say. They’ve obviously been really kind and generous, so it’s just a loss of words – speechless. Just thank you.”
Vaimoana Mase is the Pasifika editor for the Herald’s Talanoa section, sharing stories from the Pacific community. She won junior reporter of the year at the then Qantas Media Awards in 2010 and picked up the best opinion writing award at the 2023 Voyager Media Awards.
