Families prompt MPs to back Civil Unions bill

MP Brian Donnelly yesterday praised his macho father and his staunchly Catholic mother for the respect with which they treated his gay brother, as the civil union debate continued to get personal.

He is one of many MPs whose views on the issue have been influenced by having gay family members.

Fellow New Zealand First MP Ron Mark has alluded to it and Maori Affairs Minister Parekura Horomia yesterday referred to it, while National MP Clem Simich's gay son recently praised his father's support of the bill.

Family members aside, MPs have also been personally targeted, with electorate offices defaced, nasty presents sent in the mail and unpleasant emails - a reflection of the passion the Civil Union Bill has aroused.

While Mr Donnelly has voted for the bill's first two readings, he has refused to confirm his support for the final reading, which began yesterday, as he is pushing for it to be put to a public referendum.

However, the MP is highly unlikely to win enough support for his measure.

If it fails he is widely expected to vote for the legislation, likely to be passed under urgency by late tomorrow.

He revealed why, when describing his personal history, yesterday.

Mr Donnelly said his father had only ever won one trophy and it was for boxing. He had fought in World War II, but told stories only about the fights he got involved in while on leave.

"It would be fair to say he had a fairly macho view of masculinity."

His mother was "staunchly steeped in the Catholic faith".

The pair had five children and "one of my brothers was quite different from the other two boys".

That brother later had a big Catholic wedding, but the marriage proved unsuccessful.

"Following the annulment, my brother developed a pattern of having male mates living with him. He didn't come out of the closet as such. Just gradually the door was pulled ajar and we all became progressively enlightened."

The knowledge of his brother's sexual preference hurt his parents, Mr Donnelly said, but they didn't reject him.

"I want to pay tribute to my parents because through their behaviour and through their example they taught me the true meaning of family values."

Family values meant acceptance of family members was "non-negotiable and unconditional".

Mr Donnelly said on Friday he and his wife would be walking their eldest daughter up the aisle.

"I don't for one minute believe that the passage of this bill will undermine the marriage into which my daughter is entering.

"My brother and his partner will be there among the rest of our family and friends - as should be the case."

Mr Horomia also cited gay whanau as one of the reasons he supported the bill, although he acknowledged some family members disagreed with his stand.

He said the issue was about equality and opponents appeared to have forgotten the realities of divorce and adultery when talking about marriage.

Fellow Labour MP Georgina Beyer raised the ire of opponents when she said their arguments reflected the "real homophobia which is pervading this House".

National MP Nick Smith took offence at the reference, saying while he was against the bill, he wasn't homophobic.

He wanted Assistant Speaker Clem Simich to rule it out of order, but Mr Simich declined.

"I don't think she was accusing members of being homophobic."

Ms Beyer said she found references to the bill being marriage "dressed up in drag" equally offensive.

Dr Smith had earlier asserted this was the case, telling the Government to "stop the fraud on the people of New Zealand".

"If it's not gay marriage, why is it registered under the Births, Deaths and Marriages (Registration) Act?"

Fellow National MP Brian Connell said he would have had more respect for the bill's supporters had they acknowledged this.

Act MP Gerry Eckhoff, who decided to vote against it last week, said he had a couple of gay friends coming to dinner next week and his wife had warned them his vote might put them off.

"They said who cares," they were coming for dinner, he said.

United Future MP Paul Adams said he knew gay and lesbian people who had "come out of it", which meant being gay was a choice. * Meanwhile, MPs last night rejected 72-47 the first of a raft of amendments to the bill put up by National's Richard Worth.

His changes would replace the words "civil union" with "civil relationship" and were designed so any form of relationship - including non-intimate relationships - could be officially recognised.