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The children of a man who allegedly faked his suicide have been deeply affected by news he's alive, says a relative.
The man says the two boys, who attend primary and intermediate school, have been playing up and their mother is devastated.
The woman, who has remarried, declined to speak to the Herald on Sunday.
Her new husband said the turn of events had been "pretty stressful".
But the relative said the situation was "killing" her new husband. "He hates to see her like that, because that's his mate and soul."
Police allege the man staged his suicide in Pt Waikato in November 2002, and set up a second life in Christchurch under a new identity. His wife had him declared dead last year and collected $1.2 million on his life insurance policies.
The man faces two charges of fraud and one of dishonestly using a document, and has been remanded in custody to appear in the Christchurch District Court again on Thursday.
Court documents reported in yesterday's Weekend Herald said the man faked his death amid mounting debts, tax problems and the possibility of benefit fraud charges.
Police initially charged the wife with fraud but now believe she genuinely believed he was dead.
In Christchurch District Court on February 1, the man's lawyer, Elizabeth Bulger, told Judge Raymond Kean her client had had no contact with his family since his disappearance and had not benefited from the insurance payout. All names connected with the case have been suppressed.
The man was discovered last month when he applied for a passport so he could travel to Australia. It was assumed he drowned in the Waikato River after his abandoned car was found across the road.
The relative said the man's older son had once built a makeshift grave out of rocks on the riverbank, with a sign reading "my daddy".
"He's got more understanding. It's hurting that boy."
The relative said the payout hadn't changed the man's wife. "She is a lovely girl. I respect her for what she's done. She's carrying on, she's a bit down at the moment."
The man's business partner and friends in Christchurch are also struggling to comprehend the details of his past life.
"He's not a bad person, he'll do anything for you," said his business partner. "But what he did is not good. He's missed out on six years of his kids. He'll never get that back.
"He's lied to my family and our friends, he's probably cheated himself of six years of his life by just running away from his problems."
The pair met at a work function in late 2002. "He said he was down from Auckland, starting again, life wasn't too good there."
The man told him he had no children and didn't want any, so had had a vasectomy.
He'd had a couple of girlfriends in Christchurch, and the latest relationship had been running for about 10 months. His girlfriend was "going through hell".
The men had worked in Auckland on occasions. "I'm surprised no one came and tapped him on the shoulder."
The partner indicated his intention to wind down the business this year but wasn't aware of the man's travel plans.
Since his arrest, the man had written him two letters from prison apologising for the deception, but not explaining his actions.
