Express yourself well at work

By ASHLEY CAMPBELL

Ever found yourself walking away after talking to a colleague wondering "What on earth was that about"?

Or giving your staff the same set of instructions for the umpteenth time, thinking "for heaven's sake, how difficult can it be"?

You just might have an all-too-common communication problem. "I think I'm a good communicator," says training consultant and motivational coach Geoffrey Wake. "Why? Because I talk a lot.

"But that doesn't mean the person at the other end understands what I've talked about. Many of us aren't as good as we believe we are."

And many of us make the same mistakes.

Consider the other person's needs

"One of the most common things is that people tend to think about all communication from their own point of view," says Marianne Tremain, a senior lecturer in communication studies at Massey University.

It's very easy - you've got a message to convey and naturally think "What do I want to say?" But, at the same time, you should also be thinking "And how is it going to be received?"

"We know exactly what we want to say, we are very clear in our own minds that this is what we want" says Dr Nittaya Campbell, a lecturer from Waikato University's department of management communication. "But when we say it to people, it might not come across exactly like that."

The reasons are varied, but the most simple is that different people require different amounts of information, presented in different ways, to get the same message. And a manager dealing with a lot of people needs to communicate differently with each of them.

"If you never bend and flex the communication with the other person's needs, you run the risk of alienating a whole lot of other people," says Wake.

"With high performers, you can give them an end goal and say 'I need you to create this'. They'll say 'no problem'.

"Other people will not have that ability and you need to set out step-by-step, 'what I need you to do is ... "'

Culture is a major influence on the frame of reference we use to interpret messages.

"By and large, Pakeha people's ideals and ideas are based on Western, British concepts of individualism - that's how they see business," says Tremain. "Maori and Pacific Island ideas are based on collectivism and relationships, and that's [the case] with Asia, too."

Bear those differences in mind when deciding how best to convey your information.

Don't take things personally

"If you are giving feedback and receiving feedback, the single biggest mistake that's made by both sides is that it gets personal," says Wake.

So an employee is constantly late and underachieving - how do you tell them they need to buck up their performance?

It's all to easy, says Wake, to personalise it by launching into "you're slack" or "you're lazy". But all it will achieve is raised hackles and defensiveness.

Instead, he suggests, you focus on the performance tasks rather than the personality, saying, for example "I noticed you were late three times last week".

That leaves it open for the worker to explain (maybe something in his life is affecting his work, which you need to know about) or acknowledge that he needs to improve his performance.

Cross-cultural communication can also go awry because we take it a little too personally.

The different cultures in New Zealand have different ideas of what is and isn't acceptable, and it's inevitable that sometimes they will bump into each other.

"Don't go around looking for insults, because you will find them," Campbell says.

If you feel offended by what someone has said, or how they've said it, stop and think, "Was I actually insulted?" Or are you both just using different frames of reference?

Try to express, not impress

"One of the misconceptions about communication for a lot of people is that [they think] in order to sound intelligent they have to use highfalutin language, complicated sentence structure with very technical language," says Campbell.

"They think they have to impress people, to show off their linguistic prowess, but the message can get lost."

"It's a jargon thing," says Tremain. "Jargon is a big no-no." For example, she says, if healthcare managers were to talk to her in their industry's language, "I would need an interpreter, because they talk in acronyms".

There are two problems with complicated and/or technical language. One is the problem of misinterpretation. "Every time people have to translate, there's a possibility of ambiguity and they won't get the message," says Tremain.

The other problem is a relationship one, she says. "Every communication builds a relationship as well as giving a message."

If your language has people constantly reaching for a dictionary you are building a relationship of distance.

Use the right medium

Email's a wonderful thing, isn't it?

At the push of a button, you can reach several people, send a message to an absent colleague in the certain knowledge they'll get it when they return, or send a difficult message that you've taken time to craft carefully for the desired effect. But there's always a "but" ...

In an oft-quoted 1968 study, psychologist Albert Mehrabian found that words account for only 7 per cent of the impact our message has on the receiver while non-verbal cues account for 93 per cent. And all those non-verbal cues are missing from your carefully constructed email.

"The problem with email is you can't control the tone," says Wake. "If I send an email I'm talking to myself in my head and applying a tone in my head that I think is appropriate."

But the person on the receiving end may well not apply that tone and if they're feeling grumpy they could pick up the wrong message.

His advice is that if your message contains anything that will have emotional impact "Don't use email". If you have bad news to convey to a group, "Get the group together and say 'I'd like to take a moment to explain this to you'," he says. Show some empathy, soften the blow.

Email can also waste time. Nicole Humphries, president of the Auckland CBD Toastmaster's club says people often use email because they think it's quicker than walking to the other side of the building to talk to a colleague.

"However, if you've got emails bouncing back and forward on a short issue, it's actually quicker to get up and go and see the person."

Don't forget to listen

"People aren't very good at listening," says Tremain. But if they learn to listen properly "they get the information they need, they get people's trust and respect and they find out so much more about what's going on".

One of the common faults is that stressed, busy people, try to fit too much into the day and let their minds wander to their next task rather than concentrating on the person talking to them.

"They really need to filter all that out and be there in the moment and give full attention to the person they are talking to at the time."

And that is something that could take practice, says Campbell, especially if you're not not riveted by what the other person is saying.

One way of focusing your mind is to ask questions every now and then and ask for clarification if you're not sure what they just said. It keeps you listening, and lets the other person know you're paying attention.

In the end, you know you're communicating effectively if your messages are achieving their purpose.

"Communication isn't a process," says Wake, "its an end result." And that end result is shared understanding.

Or, as Campbell puts it: "Communication is effective when the person you are communicating with can understand your message readily and easily, the way you intend it to be understood, with the least effort they have to put in - and the purpose of your communication is achieved."