To look at, Kereama Akuhata seems perfectly healthy.
At 52 he is still built like the prop that he was when he captained the Horowhenua rugby team in its glory days at the top of the third division almost 20 years ago.
Inside that healthy exterior it's a different story.
Mr Akuhata is one of about 200 former sawmill workers who have developed chronic illnesses caused by chemicals inhaled when they worked for the old Whakatane Board Mills before they closed in 1988.
He is also one of only a handful of welfare beneficiaries attending a two-day forum called by the Government's Welfare Working Group on how to get long-term beneficiaries like him back to work.
He worked as a meatworker at Otaki after the board mills closed and, like most of the sawmill workers, was extremely fit. He trialled for the All Blacks in 1991 and 1993. Then his health packed up inexplicably.
"I suffer from chronic pain, depression, mood swings," he said.
He went on to accident compensation, then was bumped off to a sickness benefit because doctors couldn't work out what was wrong with him.
"I'm not saying all doctors don't know anything about chemicals, but when you go to Work and Income you get sent to their doctor so they are trying to get you back to work," he said.
"You got judged by doctors ... [and] by the frontline case managers."
Finally in 2002 he was diagnosed with a bone disease which is gradually fusing his spine and causing his depression and mood swings.
By then he had moved home to Whakatane and was coaching rugby, but again had to give it up.
"When I finally got to do the job [coaching] I found it hard - I got depressed easily, a lot of anxiety, irrational thoughts, left my partner and family and all that, it was not a very nice time," he said.
He had to quit coaching and has devoted the past few years to his role chairing the sawmill workers' lobby group Sawmill Workers Against Poisons.
With the help of Massey University researchers who documented their medical conditions, they have finally won Government recognition of the damage caused by the sawmilling chemicals.
Ministry of Health officials are due in Whakatane on June 23 to announce a compensation package which may include free access to all health services.
But Mr Akuhata said long-term welfare beneficiaries like himself still faced public disapproval.
"I think we have to change attitudes," he said. "Know me before you judge me.
"A lot of our blokes have been treated like they don't want to work because people don't know what their symptoms are. The doctors say, 'Stop drinking beer,' or 'Stop eating.'
"What we ask is: treat us with respect and treat us knowingly - you know our history and the things that are so insidious that impact on our lives and our children's lives."
Ex-mill staff win recognition of toxic past
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