KEY POINTS:
Since emergency department nurse Madeleine Mitchinson lost her partner, John McKay, in a road accident in February, every patient reminds her of him.
Ms Mitchinson, who works at Hawkes Bay Hospital, said she was on duty when news of the accident was telephoned through and she feared it could be Mr McKay.
"I felt like my whole life was unravelling with every second. All this in a place where I work every day and face some gruesome, tragic situations at times," she said in the Hastings District Court yesterday.
After the accident, she had about eight weeks' leave but returning to the hospital had been difficult.
"Every patient who comes into the emergency department now is initially John. Until they are stable, they are John. Can you imagine what that feels like on a daily basis?"
Mr McKay was the "love of her life" and they had been building a home in Havelock North, plans which she had since shelved.
Ms Mitchinson still automatically checks her phone because Mr McKay always left a message saying how much he loved her. Yesterday, the elderly driver who hit Mr McKay on his bicycle lost his licence for 15 months - but it was of little comfort to Ms Mitchinson and his family.
She said she was angry at a being told by the driver's son at a restorative justice meeting to get on with her life as it had been six months since the accident.
Catrinus Bernadus Pluijmers, 74, who admitted a charge of careless driving causing death, sat emotionless in the dock as the family read their victim-impact statements.
A police summary said Pluijmers was driving towards Napier on SH50 about 6am on February 5 when he moved to straddle the fog line and struck Mr McKay.
Defence counsel Roger Philip said the retiree was remorseful and losing his licence would be difficult as his wife could not drive.
Judge Ian Thomas said it was rare for a driver to be imprisoned on a careless-driving charge. He deemed the level of carelessness as moderate and disqualified Pluijmers from driving for 15 months, meaning he will have to resit his licence. Pluijmers was also sentenced to 200 hours' community work.
Outside court, Jimmy Tait said he had hoped for a custodial sentence for the man responsible for his brother-in-law's death. "I think the law is too soft. It doesn't send a strong enough message - one life is gone."
The family wanted Pluijmers barred from driving again and were concerned he could be back on the road soon. "I feel sorry for anyone else on the road," Mr Tait said. "He has stated it's an inconvenience for him to not have a licence. But it's a bloody inconvenience my brother-in-law doesn't have a life."
