Eric Thompson: Plates drive me round the bend

Personalised plates are a common sight on the roads of Auckland. Photo / Supplied

I think I've finally come to grips on how to drive in Auckland - treat traffic lights as glorified stop signs and only stop if absolutely necessary, wing mirrors are for gauging how close you can get to a parked car. The elderly, infirm, children or animals are merely target practice, and as for being let into a queue of traffic, you haven't a hope.

I decided I wouldn't be one of those who wouldn't let a fellow car driver out and went out of my way to let someone in earlier this week.

In slow moving traffic, I spotted an old boy in a Nissan who looked like he'd been waiting for a while. I stopped and flashed my lights to indicate he could pull in front of me.

He first looked in the opposite direction to see whom I was flashing at, and then back to me with a vacant stare. I then waved my hand to indicate he enter the traffic but I was greeted with a look of utter incomprehension and he raised his shoulders in that "what do you want me to do" type of shrug.

By now drivers behind me are leaning on their horns and issuing forth with verbal abuse. Finally the lights came on in his eyes and he put his foot down, rocketing out and nearly ploughing into the car in front.

All highly amusing, but a little worrying that a simple act of driver kindness almost caused mayhem.

Still shaking my head in silent amusement I began to notice the number of personalised number plates (or vanity plates as I like to call them) on cars in Auckland.

I am at a loss to understand why someone would pay thousands of dollars for a number plate that says 318BMW, when the car already comes with a bloody badge on the boot that says BMW and 318.

Personally I would have used the money wasted to buy a 325i. How about the plate M1NE? Unless it's stolen, who else would own it? Or HOT911 - does that mean you're letting police know you've stolen it?

My favourite though, are plates that tell the car is a gift to the wife - all I wonder is what the hell did he do wrong to have to buy her a car.

Most personalised plates appear on cars, I hazard a guess, owned by people with fragile egos.

I doubt you'd ever see the plate 1WON on the back of a car owned by a Nobel Laureate winner.

And who can forget the poor woman accused of being a racist, white supremacist for having the number plate ARYAN 1, when all she did is buy it for her boyfriend at the time ... Andrew Ryan.