Te Radar: Undercover men literally under the covers

It seems that the police in Spotsylvania, Virginia, have taken the phrase "undercover operations" to a new and admirable length by actually engaging the services of suspected prostitutes in order to prove that they are actually prostitutes.

They must have been rather good prostitutes, as one officer was so impressed that he reportedly left a US$500 ($740) tip. For the sake of the unfortunate courtesan, one hopes this was enough to cover the fine.

Naturally, these tactics have caused an outcry, both from members of the public, offended that taxpayers' money is being squandered in such a brazen manner, and from police officers in other jurisdictions, incensed that they have no such perks.

The sheriff who authorised the action was reported to be standing by his men (not literally, one would presume, as that would probably have cost extra).

To be fair to the Spotsylvania Police Department, only unmarried officers were used, and there was no mention of a spike in departmental divorces. Nor were they actively promoting the strategy as an incentive, or recruitment scheme.

Authorities stated that they allowed the acts to progress to a sexual level as the ladies couldn't, or wouldn't, openly state the price and service offered, which would be enough to convict them of a criminal offence.

Clearly the police hadn't considered that those who frequent the sex workers might not want a blatant statement of cost and effect, in order to maintain a facade of romance in the otherwise clinical transaction.

In New Zealand, the current outcry seems to be, in a roundabout manner, that our police are a little too successful. Prisons here are fuller than the Spotsylvania Police Department recruiting office, and it is rumoured that extreme measures may have to be taken.

Rather than build costly new prisons, it is suggested that we incarcerate fewer people, and instigate more community service type punishments.

No doubt it would be considered facetious of me to state that the best service to the community the criminals could perform would be not to commit crime in the first place.

Perhaps the best example of the failure in the Corrections Department was the news that some rehabilitation schemes actually increased attendees' chances of reoffending. Pita Sharples, mainstream New Zealand's new favourite Maori, quite accurately stated that it would be cheaper to book an inmate into a large hotel, and provide him with room service for a year, than to incarcerate him for a similar period.

It is incomprehensible that prisons cost so much money to build and maintain. Can't we build simple barracks surrounded by fences? They seemed to do the job in the war.

Costs for security would decrease if we increased penalties for escaping. The question then would be how many would actually escape? After all, it's New Zealand, where could they possibly go?

As for the expense of recapturing the reprobates, we could simply issue a bounty. That way, like the good officers of Spotsylvania, we, the humble citizens, would be rewarded for doing our civicduty.