Sideswipe

How intelligent do you really need to be for this job?

Rob was sitting at work minding his own business when he heard a screech and a thump and looked out the window on to Mayoral Drive and saw an "urgent" courier stuck inside a traffic island (above). "If you look closely you can see his wheels aren't on the ground. He was there for about half an hour and refused to get out of his car. Eventually a tow truck dragged him out."

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At 80, Mary Wohlford from Iowa thought it sensible to think about her future. She has told her family her wishes should she ever become incapacitated. She also has signed a will that hangs on the side of her refrigerator. But now she has found a way to guarantee there will be no confusion when the time comes by having the words "DO NOT RESUSCITATE" tattooed on her chest. Medical and legal experts expressed doubts, but they give her credit for originality. Lawyers suggest signing a living will or authorising a medical power of attorney would've been sufficient. Said Wohlford: "I don't believe in lawyers too much." Wohlford's decision was motivated by what she witnessed during her 30 years in nursing and during the Terri Schiavo controversy last year. She has no regrets about getting her tattoo, "it felt kind of like a bee sting", and proposed an offer to the shop owner. "I told him I'd bring a busload of old ladies over if he'd give me a 10 per cent cut."

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Quotable: Trying a different publicity tack, Tom Cruise is now talking sanctimoniously about sex. He tells GQ that casual sex is "really horrible and pathetic and lonely. And yech." Sex, he says, "is about the connection. Great sex is a by-product, for me, of a great relationship, where you have communication and it's an extension of that. Where it's just ... free. And that's how it should be. It's spectacular. If you're not in good communication with your partner, it sucks."

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The pre-match function for the New Zealand premiere of the Da Vinci Code at St Matthew-in-the-City sure tried hard to impress with its own cast and props. Not only were there rumpled local thespians walking around in monks' robes carrying bamboo garden torches, more actors were silhouetted behind a screen in a mimed depiction of The Last Supper. One couldn't help but notice a couple of things - the "disciple" immediately to the left of the fella at the centre was not in fact, a fella (see Dan Brown's book for explanation, if you must). Also, you can tell a fake beard even if you can see only an outline of it. Oh, and that man in the middle sure spent a lot of time jumping out of his seat and gesticulating. He kept this up for the best part of an hour. You could almost hear the rest of the cast thinking: "Jesus, sit down will ya?"