Sideswipe

In keeping with the new anti-terrorist legislation kicking in over the Tasman last year's Santa has been detained at the Warehouse depot, Papatoetoe, and snapped by reader Reinaldo Contratti.

An actress and a CBS news producer who covered the Michael Jackson molestation case are trying to cash-in on the high-profile trial by marketing a wine called "Jesus Juice". The gruesome twosome registered the name with the US Patent and Trademark Office two months after Jackson was arrested and only days after it was reported that Jackson referred to the wine that he gave to minors as "Jesus Juice". The label features a Christ on the cross imagery, but with the figure wearing a fedora hat and single glove.

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Reader Marty Vink reckons the Wellington-based online TradeMe blokes have been so successful, and therefore are so powerful, they can redefine the map of Greater Auckland: "I put my Titirangi home for sale on TradeMe. At first I was concerned that there seemed to be no other listings for Titirangi homes under Waitakere City. Apparently TradeMe shows Titirangi as an 'Auckland City' suburb, with other Waitakere City suburbs such as Te Atatu." Nudie Waitakere Mayor Bob Harvey would be horrified.

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Speaking of the mayor and TradeMe ... His offer to the Auckland Philharmonia's fundraising auction of a "natural" swim with Bob Harvey at the Ranui Naturists Club has reached a pathetic $11. On the question and answer page a punter (highly likely to be the mayor himself) writes: "This seems far too cheap for such a spectacular event, has nobody got any balls out there? I understand the mayor is bitterly disappointed with the lousy bids. He's been working on his abs, and an all-over tan. Aren't there any comely orchestra matrons out there who want to see westies in the altogether? He's talked Ewen Gilmour into a double dip to "raise" some interest! Clearly he's now desperate and dateless".

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An Associated Press investigation revealed in September that US$5 billion ($7.34 billion) in Small Business Administration loans authorised after 9/11 was poorly managed. While businesses close to New York's Ground Zero went begging, thousands got emergency loans by creatively describing how they were hurt by the Islamist-terrorist attacks, including more than 130 franchised fast-food shops, a South Dakota radio station; a Utah dog boutique; and a Virgin Islands perfume shop. (Source: News of the Weird)