Sideswipe

So many men, so little time...

In an article for the Guardian, Australian-born Andrew Mueller slams New Zealand as "fantastically dull" (he's got a point), then says our attractive scenery has become "intolerably overrun by 38-year-old virgins in duffle coats arguing over whether or not Gandalf might have caught his hat on this very branch" (agreed). But he goes too far when he defames our nationalistic namesake: "New Zealand's only famous native animal, and national symbol, is the kiwi, a stupid, ugly, clumsy bird which can't even fly - it's basically a two-legged rat with a beak". (Full story on the Guardian UK website (see link below), search under story title "The Hard Sell".)

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Toby of Takapuna writes: "Yesterday I emailed TelstraClear about a problem I have been experiencing using my email - being disconnected unexpectedly. They emailed me back in no time at all and gave me some helpful advice. I had to chuckle however, reading their opening sentence: 'Here are some settings which may improve your ability to maintain a connection' ... "

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Nicki Russell of Remuera writes: "That must have been a hell of a sleep I had last night - since I've obviously slept through the rest of January, the whole of February and have found myself in mid-March. Surely that's the only explanation for why Foodtown supermarkets are selling hot cross and Easter Buns!"

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Not neighbourly #3: A reader from Freemans Bay writes: "What about my cow of a neighbour. I can only park on the street, so parking is at a premium. I also live close to Three Lamps in Ponsonby and people park there for work. I went up the road to a friend's dinner party one evening and then discovered my car missing. After having three cars stolen in St Marys Bay, I assumed it had been stolen. I rang the police and they suggested I check it hadn't been towed away. I insisted it was legally parked. Turns out it was parked within 1m of the corner of the cow's driveway, which technically meant it was illegally parked. She rang the council and made them tow it away. But what really pissed me off was: the 'driveway' was not used - behind the gate was a planted garden with no room to park a car (she has another double driveway and garage); after she had my car towed out she moved in a truck and trailer to do work on her garden and they parked right across the driveway; I had a very late dinner. I am planning my revenge for when I leave the street."