Sideswipe

The practice formerly known as road works. Don Donovan from Albany saw this piece of pomposity from Transit New Zealand on the road west of Lake Taupo.

Australian funeral directors have compiled a set of health guidelines on what can and cannot be cremated - and the news is bad for rubber fetishists. Bodies must not be clad in latex, rubber or plastic garments, but plastic on the inside, in the form of silicon breast implants, is acceptable. Also banned from coffins to be cremated are any container with liquid in it, including alcohol, and pressurised spray cans for those planning to daub the afterlife in graffiti. Battery-powered pacemakers and hearing aids must be removed, but metal pins or joints are allowed. (Source: NZPA)

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Matters arising for the Papatoetoe Cosmopolitan Club's annual general meeting this Sunday include a member inquiring whether the air vents in the upstairs bar could be adjusted, as they interfered with the flight of the darts.

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What Would Jesus Eat? ... That is the title of one of a growing number of Christian diet plans crowding the lifestyle shelves of mainstream bookshops, says the Guardian newspaper. With other bestselling titles such as The Maker's Diet, The Hallelujah Diet and Body by God, they hold the promise of spiritual and bodily redemption.

Don Colbert, a Florida doctor and author of What Would Jesus Eat?, says his book is a way of putting some backbone into weak-willed believers. "They're letting the flesh rule them and they're eating anything they want," he said. "We're making them accountable. Many people will not eat the right kinds of food unless they're held accountable, and before they put something in their mouths, ask: 'Would Jesus eat this?"'

Marie Griffith, a professor of religion at Princeton University, said: "The negative part is that people feel they have failed God if they don't lose weight."

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A reader of the Sydney Morning Herald has just returned from Beijing, where she was slightly put off by the hotel's menu, which among other delights offered "caesarean salad". If that was enough to make you run for the bathroom, you'd still need thick skin. The cakes of soap were labelled "uncomplimentary".