Sideswipe

Reasons to dislike rugby: Promotions based on macho posturing, as demonstrated by this billboard courtesy of Heart of Auckland City, the promotional arm of Auckland City businesses and Tourism Auckland.

In an era of tight education budgets, one category of Texas high school spending - football stadiums - seems unrestrained, according to a Houston Chronicle story. More than 20 new or planned "gridiron cathedrals" resemble those of professional teams, with luxury suites, plush locker rooms and weight rooms, or even climate-controlled indoor practice facilities. The $20 million stadium in Denton has a $900,000, three-storey scoreboard with instant replay. Critics bemoan the misplaced priorities, but defenders say the stadiums may eventually pay for themselves and that construction bonds are more accessible than the tax money necessary to raise teacher salaries. (Source: News of the Weird)

* * *

Dancing with the Stars series two: A guide for programme-makers.

It is crucial to have a publicity-friendly contestant to create a sex scandal (Jo Cotton, Charlotte Dawson). 

Remember in New Zealand a former All Black will always beat a soap star.

If getting a soap star, make it a current one, not someone whose character died of a brain aneurysm in 1995 or who played a murderer.

Boy dancers should be taller than girl dancers.

Develop a pool of career reality TV contestants (Ben Lummis should be available).

Always have a comedian in the mix.

Give Jason Gunn a valium.

Give judge Alison Leonard a saucer of milk (or a water purifier).

Being a model isn't enough - a personality is required.

Local politicians with a mass following should be avoided. Dick Hubbard would be fine.

* * *

Not one to shy away from the press, Cameron Brewer of the Newmarket Business Association writes: "Exceeding your parking allocation by five minutes - $12; parking on a clearway - $60; failing to produce your driver licence - $55; failing to display current evidence of vehicle inspection - $200; catching a parking warden driving down a one-way street in Newmarket the wrong way - priceless.