Sideswipe

Not cricket #1: Feedback from the ODI match against Australia on Saturday. "All was going well until the break between innings when the terrace bars stopped serving full-strength beer. The only choice was light beer. If this wasn't bad enough, 20 minutes later the bars were closed and for the next three hours terrace ticket-holders couldn't buy a drink. I find these actions to be hugely discriminatory, since the rest of the park could still buy beer. Sitting in the terraces watching everyone else in the park drink while we sat in a sober zone was unacceptable. We felt like children being deprived of sugar before bed. So what answer did the Eden Park staff and police come up with? 'There were a few people ruining it for everybody', they said. Come on, let's get real. If people are being a problem, remove them. Something has to be done about the unbelievably poor hospitality at Eden Park. Not only did it ruin the day for thousands of people, it also further illustrates Auckland's inability to hold major sporting events." NOT cricket

Not cricket #2: How to indulge streakers. Idiot gets gear off and runs on to Eden Park after completion of the ODI match against Australia. Immediately falls over in lame attempt at side-stepping a security guard. They grab him. Do they wrap him in a blanket and quickly hustle him off the ground? No. With a security guard gripping each arm they parade him across the entire field - walking slowly to the diagonally opposite corner of the park, treating the crowd to the spectacle of his pale backside and even worse frontside. Let them run, please. The whole boring streaking throwback to the 1970s will at least be over more quickly.

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A reader of the Sydney Morning Herald spotted an ad for a "cafe-restaurant" for sale in the paper's classifieds. Apart from having a "large kitchen, courtyard and a new fitout", it boasts "great pot".

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Update: Some fool paid $1250 for John Hawkesby's shirt at the Goldwater Estate charity auction on Waiheke Island on Saturday. Who? His Mrs! Gretchen Goldwater says at last year's event, at which Hawkesby was MC, a well-fuelled guest offered money for his shirt. She paid $1000 and then gave it back to this year's auction. To add a little value, Goldwater asked artist John Reynolds, who works with text, to create something for the shirt. She then had the shirt embroidered with ... "After all, work is the best way of killing time." It is unlikely the new owner will frame the shirt and try to sell it as a Reynolds original.

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Following the launch of vanity fragrances from the likes of Britney Spears with "Curious" and Donald Trump with "Donald Trump: The Fragrance", Scottish actor Alan Cumming has launched his bottled scent called "Cumming".

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The Queen has held out the olive branch to Camilla and has offered to pay for her hen night. A weekend in Paris, with a car and driver.