Sideswipe

A $200 fine or instant death. In Australia, you choose.

A "quiet drink" should be just that, a Melbourne tribunal ruled this week. The Victorian Civil and Administrative Tribunal was hearing a case brought by a liquor licensing inspector against bar Misty Place. Its licence is among many which impose a condition that all music must be kept to background levels. The definition of which is: louder than that in a lift or restaurant, but which must still be played softly enough for people within 60cm of each other to talk without having to raise their voices to a substantial degree. (Source: NZPA)

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Tony shares a small tale of efficient fine collecting. "The Ministry of Justice collections unit track down my mother to inform her that I must contact them immediately to discuss an extremely important matter. Calling them, I'm told that there is an outstanding parking fine of $10 plus $30 court costs which must be paid urgently or further action will be taken. However, they must have rung all the people in the phonebook to get hold of me. I'm unlisted, and there are only 12 of my surname in the book. Funny thing is, the fine was paid the previous day by cheque and it wasn't due for another 15 days. I can only applaud the efficiency of the fines collection department. Surely no one could get away with non-payment of fines given this efficiency."

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Mark adds his own take on our running glossary of gangsta rap: "Before Andrew Stevenson starts talking to his kid about the dangers of drive-bys with bows and arrows, throwin' bows means to throw elbows, just as droppin' bows is to drop an elbow to make some space for yourself in a crowd." 

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And Robert Crisp has the final word on translating song lyrics: "Seems like either Daniel or Andrew may have hearing problems. The phrase 'rolling on doves' is probably only used by those who have no idea what they are talking about. The correct phrase would be 'rolling on dubs' and a dub is a wheel or rim that is 20in in size. The term 'dub' has been derived as a slang term for 20, from 'double dime' or two 10s. If you're a real gangsta or pimp, you'd be rolling on twankie deuces, dub deuces or deuce deuces, [all terms for 22in rims]. If your outta pocket then you may be rolling on dub minus deuces, [18in rims]."