Sideswipe

Sharon Crosbie

The best and worst of Sideswipe 2002-2004

Was the profile of Radio New Zealand chief executive Sharon Crosbie on the official website written by a graduate of Bill Manhire's creative writing course?
"Place Sharon Crosbie on a desert island, with only a small radio transmitter for company, and you get the feeling she'd be completely unfazed. 'Most people would think I'm a hoo-hah and a sharp wit and blah blah blah,' she says. But, 'I actually quite like perfect peace and quiet and I'm quite fond of my own company'.
"So picture her now, Quakerishly self-sufficient and patiently practising her embroidery stitches with bits of shredded sailcloth and discarded hermit-crab claws for needles. Soon, however, you suspect she just wouldn't be able to help herself: she'd be picking up that microphone and musing aloud on air. Within weeks, she'd have a devoted listenership ('people stranded on desert islands are not morons and we deserve good radio!' she'd declare); Kirkcaldies would be helicoptering in emergency supplies and her good friend Alison Holst would be sat there on the sands, devising new recipes for papaya pulp fritters.
"And then one day, Sharon would decide it was time to move on. She'd scoop up her menagerie of abandoned ships' cats and off she'd go, to head up some Government commission on the allocation of resources to castaways. Which, in a parallel-universe kind of way, is probably a pretty fair summation of her career to date."

* * *

Modern-day television breaking-news dialogue: Anchor: Now, this breaking news. Something has reportedly happened. Details are sketchy, and we really don't have any idea of what it might be, but let's show these impressive aerial shots from our helicopter. Now let's go to our correspondent in the field to tell us that he doesn't know anything. Bob?
Correspondent: Paula? I'm sorry, I couldn't really hear you, but let me say that out here we really have no idea of what's going on. But my sources tell me that something definitely has happened. All I cansay is that we'll find out as soon as possible. Inthe meantime, everybody should stay tuned to CNN.

(Source: St Petersberg Times)

* * *

This week, Sideswipe published an email from a parent whose child asked if the three wise men at the Papakura Santa parade were the terrorists who bombed the twin towers. Waihi reader Jill Robertson responded by saying, "the biblical wise men or magi were not Arabs but Persians and dressed in their Zoroastrian robes". Two readers think she missed the point entirely. Steven Austin, from St Heliers, writes: "There are so many people like Jill Robertson who would rather correct an apostrophe than understand the real significance of another generation growing up believing an entire race of people is lumped together as inferior or bad." James Nelson, from Remuera, says: "Who cares? Said child is probably 5 and does not know a member of the three wise magi from a pack of instant noodles, much less that they came from Iran."