Sideswipe

Yesterday's story about Jay the 4-year-old jack russell who fell overboard near Waiheke Island is a warning to those who own dogs and boats. Anyone terrified of the prospect of this happening to his or her pooch can buy peace of mind in a dog lifejacket. (Stockists are Webbing & Tapes on the corner of Princes and Selwyn Sts in Onehunga.)

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The Centre for Consumer Freedom has announced the winners of its 4th annual Tarnished Halo Awards. The organisation awards these titles to "America's most notorious animal rights zealots, environmental scaremongers, celebrity busybodies, self-anointed public interest advocates, trial lawyers and other food and beverage activists who claim to know what's best for you".

* The Wrong Casting Call Category: Awarded to supermodel Sarah Jane, the world's most-downloaded woman, for lending her image to PETA. While the activist group advocates an extreme vegetarian diet, Jane lists raw meat and lamb kidney among her favorite foods.

* The Spurious Spurlock Category: Awarded to Super Size Me director Morgan Spurlock, who got his start as host of the TV show I Bet You Will. With cameras rolling, Spurlock paid a man to gulp down an entire 68g jar of mayonnaise. He paid a woman to shave her head, combine the hair with butter to form a giant hairball, and then eat it. Internet voyeurs could also see one guy chew on a piece of dog faeces for Spurlock's ready cash. Not surprisingly, the show featured an Official Puke Bucket. Incredibly, Spurlock said of Super Size Me that "[people] need to start thinking about what they're shovelling into their mouths".

* The Biggest Loser Category: Awarded to Yale professor and father of the "twinkie tax" Kelly Brownell for continuing to deny the importance of personal responsibility while admitting his significant paunch comes from remaining inactive and snacking too much while writing a book about ... (drum roll) obesity. (See the full list at consumerfreedom.com)

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Some of the well-intentioned donations for victims of the December tsunami are bewilderingly inappropriate (such as ski jackets and Viagra), says a Wall Street Journal dispatch from Sri Lanka. Relief workers say they have received shipments of moisturising gel, sweaters, women's dress shoes and thong underwear. Crucial medicines are in short supply, but not Valium, anti-depressants or drugs with labels in languages that local doctors can not read. The Journal wrote that some doctors "appear just to have unloaded their sample bins". (Source: News of the Weird.)

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Some readers laughed out loud, some felt compelled to scold, "Call me old-fashioned, but your reference today to the tragic death of Diana Spencer is right over the top. Enough said". And others just didn't get it ... "I have been searching the internet to find details of the Queen's offer to pay for Camilla's hen night in Paris as published in your column. Could you please provide me with the source of the information?"