Sideswipe

The Langham Hotel

The Langham Hotel (above) is offering packages to entice mothers for a pampering on Mother's Day. Is this the same hotel which was outed at the weekend as the place where Customs takes drug mules who have swallowed the evidence while they wait for them to, er, download the narcotics?

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Yesterday Sideswipe revealed that Ahmed Zaoui needs a diary co-ordinator to handle his busy schedule (Sarah at zaoui_volunteers@xtra.co.nz). Thank you to all those who contributed to this first instalment of Zaoui's Day:

Tuesday, May 2:

6am: Arise early at the Dominican Priory, Newton, and ponder peace in the Middle East.

6.05am: Mint tea. Return to my book, Repressive Tolerance, by philosopher Herbert Marcuse.

7am: Breakfast.

8am: Regular discussion with Father Chris "that America is a neo-colonial, repressive, intolerant regime which is perpetuating most of the evil in the world."

8.11am: Finish agreeing with Father Chris.

9am: Talk to Deborah re legal aid.

10am: Must attend prayers to show inter-faith respect.

11am: Check with Sarah about upcoming diary commitments.

12: Take Algerian cooking class for the Arts Collective at Grey Lynn Community Centre. Must remember to take copies of my Conversations over Couscous: Cooking with Ahmed Zaoui (retail price $20, including postage).

1.30pm: Meet Deborah re legal aid.

2.45pm: Must phone David re speaking at opening of the Human Rights Film Festival.

3pm: Coffee at TVNZ about new ad campaign.

4pm: Meet "Friends of Ahmed". Remember to read latest poem, The Shackles of Internment. (Might keep Stroking the Neck of the Penguin in reserve.) Discuss Marcuse.

5.30pm: Fax Deborah the legal aid sheet.

6pm: Speaking engagement at the University of Auckland political studies department. "Internment, Shackles and Repression: The Islamic Viewpoint".

8.30pm: Lost, TV2.

9.30pm: Bed.

To Do: Buy more couscous; check the Algerian for rugby; email the Inter-denominational Support Group against Internment of Muslims among the Dominicans. Didn't quite understand what they want. Must ask Deborah why my poems about penguins had Father Joseph sniggering. Look up carrot cake recipe. Ask Father Chris to tape Dragon's Den.

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And thanks to all the observant techy geeks who pointed out that Thursday afternoon's computer calendar reading of 01:02:03 04/05/06 will not be unique. It will happen again in 100 years. May you live to see it.

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On the subject of Dragon's Den, who will be the millionaires who get to savage the budding entrepreneurs when the programme comes to New Zealand? Sideswipe bets it will be Bob Jones, naturally.

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Sideswipe usually tries to steer clear of giving out weird websites (too many, too contrived) but rules are made to be broken. So check this out: http://members.aol.com/hearseq/movies.htm (see link below). A couple of guys were playing a drinking game of thinking up movies with hearses in them. They put it on a site and the rest, as they say, is history.

It even has its own Yahoo category - Hearse Enthusiasts. Best entry: A Gnome Named Gnorm: features a chase scene about seven minutes long, in which the cop in the movie commandeers a hearse from a funeral train to pursue a suspect in a Corvette. The hearse appears to be an all black 1971-72 Superior. The hearse unfortunately gets shot up but it makes for a good scene.