Sideswipe

National's hoardings across Auckland have been treated to the same amendment as Northcote Nat Johnathan Coleman's. Although it looks like the work of someone with a bit of cash to throw at giant-sized colour images (not the Exclusive Brethren who are unlikely to be fans of the Simpsons), it is tricky to work out if it's a lame insult, or a lame attempt at flattery.

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A reader writes: "Yesterday morning, while filling my car with petrol at the Ellerslie BP, a small truck pulled in with a Shell pump strapped on the back, to fill up with diesel".

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On the fridge door in the staffroom at Fraser High: "Milk is for tea and coffee only. Not for drinking!" Eh?

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Russian billionaire Andrey Melnichenko paid Christina Aguilera $3.6 million to sing two songs at his wedding in the South of France over last weekend, flying her to Cannes in a private jet and putting her up in a $4000 a night suite with her fiance. "Christina did a brilliant job," said one wedding guest. "There wasn't a dry eye in the house when she sang Beautiful. But no one suspected how much she'd been paid - it's like winning the lottery for her."

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Running late for the National Radio leaders' debate for the teeny-weeny parties earlier this week, Rod Donald managed to dampen Rodney Hide's usually chirpy spirits. Flustered Donald sat down and leaned forward to shake hands with Hide, sending a huge carafe of water flying. Hide said; "It soaked me from my chest to my ankles. But I was not only wet, I was sitting in a puddle for the entire debate." Donald apologised profusely and Hide said it didn't affect his performance ... but his phone was kaput for the day until it dried out. Which is no doubt the reason he missed Don Brash's phone call to join Brash and Peter Dunne for coffee.

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Radio Pacific's John Banks asks competing candidates Rodney Hide and Richard Worth to name each others strengths. Worth's answer is that Hide is "pertinacious." Pertinacious? It means persistent, Worth says. He goes on to describe Hide as like those Aussie flies that you keep trying to slap but are always hanging around. Hide says Worth's strength must be that he's smart because he uses such big words.