Sideswipe

John Walkden says guess what tops the list when you enter "failure" in Google? Biography of the President from the official White House website.

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How not to sell two grey cockatiels on TradeMe: " ... about 3 years old and I have just been informed that they may live anywhere between 15-25 years. Well, NOT if they stay here!! THEY ARE DRIVING ME NUTS!!! The kids wanted birds ... so we got Burt and Urney ... They are great birds ... Burt is fairly friendly and will sit on your finger ... He whistles and says run rabbit run rabbit run rabbit ... here rabbit here rabbit here rabbit, go rabbit go rabbit go rabbit ... This is from the moment he wakes up to the moment he goes to sleep ... We do not have a rabbit. Urney (son of Satan) bites and holds on until you are bleeding and screaming and sings like a canary ... They are both very healthy and well looked after ... It's just that I have a small house and they have huge lungs and I am close to ripping my hair out ... PLEASE buy them ... They are good friends so must go together ... The cage is not mine and must be returned when home is found ... I live on Waiheke Island, buyer needs to pick up."

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The city of Dortmund, Germany, is installing drive-in wooden "sex huts" for prostitutes to ply their trade during next year's World Cup. According to a spokesman, the official red light district on the outskirts of town wouldn't be able to handle the boom in business. From Reuters: "Dortmund plans to arrange the Dutch-designed huts, which have been introduced in the city of Cologne, another World Cup venue, in an area with condom machines and snack bar. "'Men have to get used to them, of course, but a high percentage accept them because they can protect their anonymity,' the official said. 'That said, there will always be those who want to go behind a bush, under a bridge or into the woods'." 

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A reader from Herne Bay writes: "When are Mayor Dick Hubbard's heritage police going to swoop on Glengarry Wines, Jervois Rd. To top off their conversion of a sturdy wooden colonial shed into a new wine bar, they couldn't resist tacking on twee wrought-iron window grilles that seem to have escaped from a production of La Boheme." 

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Channel that tenacity into a career? Timothy John Campbell, 45, was arrested in Atlantic, Iowa, last month and charged with stalking a woman by, among other things, telephoning her up to 3000 times a month. (Source: News of the Weird) 

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A man was detained on a Moscow street while trying to sell a meteorite weighing 40kg that he stole from the city planetarium. The unemployed 32-year-old had sought $US50,000 ($70,786) for the relic on the thriving black market after learning its true worth, the Interfax news agency reported. The meteorite went missing during current renovation work at the planetarium.