Sideswipe

Back-to-basics spelling near Kerikeri.

People who collect their commemorative glass from the Devonport Wine and Food Festival each year may have noticed this year they'd been duped. A reader complained that the glass he was sold on the weekend was from 2003. The year had been unsubtly blacked out. Must have rained that year.

* * *

Weird gift corner: The Spazzstick website explains this exciting new product, "Spazzstick is a high quality lip balm that contains caffeine, which absorbs directly through your lips as you use it. It was developed by an Alaskan police officer, who needs quality lip balm for the cold and the ability to stay awake during long shifts. Spazzstick is made in a beautiful little Eskimo village called Kaktovik, Ak, by the inventor of Spazzstick, and his hoards of worker trolls in a vast underground volcano lair". (Source: spazzstick.com)

* * *

Allowing two cats and their offspring to breed for 10 years will produce 80,399,780 cats, says the American Humane Association, which assumes two litters a year and 2.8 surviving kittens a litter.

* * *

The Man Project: A woman experiments with chemical manhood by taking testosterone shots to see what happens to her. These insights into the enigmatic male hormone from her live journal ...

* All my muscles ache, as if I have been working out. I have not been working out.

* Yesterday I ate four full meals and still found myself in the kitchen at 4am stuffing dry cheerios into my mouth. I thought that maybe this would cause me to chunk up a bit, but was surprised while checking myself out in the mirror that I can see all of my ribs and the outline of my pelvis in places.

* Grumpy as hell.

* Interesting data point: my hand therapist recorded that I have gained ten pounds of gripping strength in my left (good) hand in the last week. I did not tell her why I thought this was so.

* Watched basketball last night for the first time in my life. How is it that I've never noticed what a dramatic, amazing, ball sport this is?

* Had an odd urge all night long to go home and play guitar. I don't play guitar.

* Have nicely divided all things in this world into three categories: Things I can eat, things I can have sex with, things I can argue with.

* Avoiding prolonged conversations with people.